As a mixed-race female living in Canada, I have experienced firsthand the impact of the "not black enough" label. This label, often used to describe people who do not fit into a narrow and outdated definition of ethnicity, can be harmful coming from both sides of "race". In my case, it's not belonging to enough "blackness" or "whiteness" because my parents of different skin colour and tones, chose to have me. It is important to recognize the impact of this label and to have an open discussion about the importance of inclusion and identity.
Sometimes, people say they don't even realize until they see my hair, or perhaps they've spoken to me on the phone and I can speak so eloquently and sound well educated and didn't realize my race. Then add even more confusion that I have naturally blue, blue eyes. If I'm wearing glasses at the time they'll ask "are those contacts. I'm sure they don't intend to mean harm but I'm always puzzled why my physical features even matter - especially when we're working on a business transaction.
Words have the power to shape our understanding of ourselves and the world around us. When we use language to define and categorize people based on their race, we create divisions that can lead to exclusion and discrimination. The "not black enough" label is a prime example of this type of language. It implies that there is only one way to be black and that anyone who does not fit into this narrow definition is somehow less authentic or less worthy of respect. Same way of being "white", Latina, Asian, etc.
I will only speak of my experience but this label can be harmful coming from both sides of "race". On one hand, it can be used by black individuals to exclude and ostracize those who do not fit into their definition of blackness. This can create a sense of alienation and isolation for mixed-race individuals who may feel like they do not belong in either the black or white communities. On the other hand, this label can also be used by white individuals to deny the experiences of mixed-race individuals and to reinforce harmful stereotypes about what it means to be black. It is important to recognize that the concept of "race" is a social construct.
Quite honestly, this is something I have struggled with for a very long time. Even since I was a young child and on the playground with my school friends, in a predominantly "white", small town. Then, add the time that I was severely harmed when I was dating a charming young man in high school. It was winter, we went to his home for lunch and him mom was there. She was so kind, extended her hand to me, smiled "nice to meet you" and then I took my winter toque off which displayed all my 3B "kinky" hair in which her smile turned instantly to a frown and it's almost like her face flushed. Needless to say, the boy broke up with me the next day. What's funny is that I didn't think of it. I didn't think of my skin colour being a problem or that I was different until people told me I was. I didn't look at people for their skin colour. Even with the young black boy, all I can remember his arrogance and rudeness but that's not a race thing, leaning over my til at the McDonald's cash after a roller skating night and going "yo, baby, baby, baby, yo, yo....yo girl, if you're a N, why you got blue eyes". 👀 Why does any of this matter and why do people feel it's necessary to point out I'm different?
My mom loved me, put me into dancing so I was busy doing that. If you wanted to ride your bike with me, play Barbies, do sports and hang out, you were nice to me, I was nice to you. I never, not once said I could or could not be friends with someone because of the colour of their skin or their Nationality or Race.
Never, did I ever have the notion of not engaging in conversation with someone because of that. As I type this, I still hurt. I guess this is my need to heal from childhood trauma. I've moved on, I'm successful in life but it's still painful how I was treated. I know this is not a character flaw of my own and somehow I have developed empathy that this is how people were just raised and they have this unconscious bias that spills over. For the boy in highschool, I know he continued to visit me from time to time and apologize on behalf of his mother and that he had no choice since he was under 18 and relied on his parents for shelter and helping to pay for his University one day. As the adage goes, "I've forgiven, but not forgotten". In today's world, continue to experience in the business world and in this case, "not black enough" on multiple occasions from members of the BIPOC community. It feels like I cannot win.
There is no biological basis for race, and the categories that we use to define race are not fixed or immutable. Identity is complex and multifaceted, and no one has the right to define someone else's identity for them. We all have the right to define ourselves and to be accepted for who we are. Inclusion and diversity are essential for creating a more equitable and just society. When we embrace diversity, we create opportunities for learning and growth, and we create a more inclusive and welcoming environment for all. It is important to celebrate and recognize the diversity of our communities, and to work towards creating environments where everyone feels valued and included.
We can all do our part to promote inclusion and diversity. Whether it's through educating ourselves about different cultures and experiences, speaking out against exclusion and discrimination, or simply being open and welcoming to those who are different from us, we can all make a difference. Let's work together to create a world where everyone feels like they belong. This is most likely why I am such a huge advocate today. I'm happy to proclaim myself as "Chief Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) Officer"
Join the conversation about inclusion and diversity. Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.
