Barrie shelter experience gave woman the chance to change her life’s course

The Strength to move on...

The Woman and Children's Shelter of Barrie moved from this Berczy Street location to a new, larger facility in 1991

Jo-Anne David remembers packing her belongings into garbage bags as she prepared to leave her partner two decades ago.

She didn’t know where she was going to go.

She was a francophone who wasn’t originally from Barrie and had two children to take with her.

She just knew she had to leave.

“After years of putting up with emotional abuse and threats … I thought, ‘I’m out of here,’” David said.

As she was throwing the bags into her car, she received a fateful call from a colleague, suggesting she go to the Women and Children’s Shelter of Barrie.

Twenty years later, David is now the executive director of the Francophone Prevention Centre for Violence Against Women and Sexual Assault where she works as a partner with the Barrie shelter and helps women like her younger self.

As a former client and current partner, David has seen the shelter progress through an “amazing journey” over the years.

This journey includes the celebration of a 30th anniversary and the launch of a new $3.5-million project called New Beginnings.

The project’s aim is to fund the development a new affordable housing apartment building in Barrie.

It’s expected to be completed within three years.

The apartments will be second-stage homes for families who have either stayed at the first-stage shelter or who have left an abusive situation recently.

Women and families will be able to reside in one of the 20 units for up to a year.

“During that time they can more forward in their lives,” said Heather Croft, the shelter’s community development co-ordinator.

“Whether it’s going back to school, finding a job or having their rent be less so they can put that money towards moving forward.”

Croft said she’s found more families have been staying longer at the shelter, partly because it’s difficult to find affordable housing in Barrie.

“A lot of the time people are feeling like there’s no hope,” Croft said. “This gives us a chance to say … capture your dreams and this community will be behind you.”

David understands first hand the importance of having a supportive community and a safe place to stay. The five weeks she and her children spent at the shelter in 1993 provided her with newfound peace and security.

She refers to the shelter as her sanctuary and to the staff as angels.

“I’d never seen people that calm,” she said. “I came from an environment where everybody screams and yells.”

The staff offered her support and information about practical matters like legal rights. Instead of forcing the assistance, they helped her empower herself.

“They would let us discover and put words to things,” David said.

This is how she began to see her life more clearly. She realized that violence had become her norm.

While she spent time at the shelter gaining a new peace of mind, the clients and staff became her new community and support system.

During the evenings, David would help out around the shelter, just as a family member would at home, and during the day, she continued on with her life, going to work and dropping her kids off at daycare.

When she was ready to leave, the staff helped her prepare for a fresh start. They sent her off with essentials, like dishes, and pocket change for items she might need.

But most importantly, they helped set her on the path to finding peace.

This wasn’t always easy to achieve in the years after she left.

“I did a lot of going into silence and figuring out my life,” David said.

In 1998, she made a five-year plan and decided to pursue her dream of attending university. Still supporting her children,

she knew this would be difficult, but she took a leap of faith.

“It was like jumping off the CN Tower,” she said. “And free falling.”

She landed on her feet. After graduating from York University with a bachelor’s degree and a certificate in law, David was offered her current position at the francophone prevention centre.

For six years, she’s been able to do what makes her happy.

She now calls herself a “welcome wagon for the francophone community” and takes on a supportive approach to helping others. She’s caring, not overbearing — similar to what she experienced at the shelter.

“I love helping people. I’m about empowering them,” David said. “But I’m not a martyr. I’ll give them the tools, resources, references and say, ‘Go girl.’”

Her past helps her relate to the women she assists and she’s also now able to share her new perspectives with them.

“For women it’s often about family, traditional family, and not being a failure. So when you leave a relationship, that’s considered failure,” David said. “But I call it sucking it up. If I create kids and create that environment for them, I’m only creating that for the next generation.”

Today, she’s achieved a peace that the shelter helped her discover 20 years ago.

“I love life. I always did. But it was just being snuffed out,” she said.

“Now, I’m happy.”

For information on the shelter, visit  barrieshelter.com.

The shelter in the 1990s:

• • The early outreach office was small and cramped to the point that one staff member’s office was in the old safe.
• • The shelter moved from Berczy Street to the new, larger facility in 1991.
• • There was little money to purchase furniture for the outreach office so staff begged and borrowed to furnish the space.
• • In 1999 the agency changed its name from the Women’s Crisis Centre to the Women and Children’s Shelter.
• • Shelter staff made a close connection with YMCA immigrant services in the 1990s when the Barrie demographics were changing.
• • The shelter hired a victim services co-ordinator to work with the Simcoe County District School Board and teach principals, teachers and their support staff about domestic violence.
• • In 1995, a young male police officer brought a woman in her mid-70s into the shelter. She was leaving an abusive husband and the officer was very choked up when he told her story. He said the woman reminded him of his grandmother. The woman stayed at the shelter for five months at a time when the average stay was six to eight weeks.

Katrina Clarke, Special to the Examiner

Sunday, February 10, 2013 3:06:05 EST PM

Laws Need to Be Changed? Random Act of Violence

Man convicted in murder of doctor's wife in 2008 saw verdict overturned - Khonsari Case Back in Court

I feel so much for this family. He was a wonderful Dr to my little ones when they were born. So patient and kind. Sad to know he died with this deep pain after the killing of his wife. This is way too close to home.

Barrie Ontario's Mimi Khonsari was kidnapped and murdered in May 2004.

A man who was formerly convicted in the brutal murder of Mimi Khonsari eight years ago made a brief appearance in court Friday in preparation for a new trial.

Clare Spiers, 50, who has lived in Barrie, Toronto and New York, was sentenced to life in prison after a jury found him guilty in 2008.

But three years into his life sentence, the Court of Appeal for Ontario overturned the verdict and ruled he has the right to a new trial after it found the Crown had improperly vetted the jury.

That means that Spiers is now presumed innocent and he has a fresh start with a new trial.

In court, Spiers stood in handcuffs and looked around the court.

It is not known yet whether his lawyer will make an application for a bail hearing.

He is charged with first-degree murder and kidnapping of Khonsari, 60, who was the wife of a prominent Barrie doctor, Homa Khonsari, who recently died.

Spiers is also charged with the kidnapping of Khonsari’s infant grandchild, who was with her on the day she was murdered.

Khonsari’s strangled and stabbed body was found in a wooded area on Ridge Road, north of Barrie, on May 21, 2004. That same day the grandchild was found alive in Khonsari’s car, which was abandoned in a parking lot near the Kozlov mall.

It was not until seven months later that police announced the arrest of Spiers, a door-to-door home renovations salesman who was living on Hickling Trail in Barrie. At the time of his arrest, police said Spiers was not known to the family and that Khonsari’s killing was a random act.

Following his conviction, Spiers’ lawyer took the case to Ontario’s high court, arguing his verdict might have been different if the Crown hadn’t vetted the jury in its favour by using police resources to weed out disreputable people who could possibly be unsympathetic to the Crown’s case.

The high court agreed that, while there was no malicious intent, the information received by the Crown shaped the jury differently than it would have been able to otherwise.

“I conclude that the well-informed and reasonable person would perceive the jury selection process in this case to be unfair,” wrote the appeals court in its recent ruling. “There can be no doubt that the public and an accused would view with grave suspicion a jury selection process that unfairly favours the Crown.”

Spiers will be held at the Central North Correctional Centre in Penetanguishene while awaiting his new trial.

He is scheduled to be back in court for a pretrial hearing on May 22. By Tracy McLaughlin, Special to QMI AGENCY

Friday, February 1, 2013 9:15:42 EST PM

Helping Orphaned Girls In India to Have a chance & avoid being sex slaves

'Dream Centre' in works to help girls in India caught in sex trade - JT McVeigh

It doesn’t take much to help a lot. Take breakfast for instance. While you’re looking after your bacon addiction, you just might be helping someone a world away.

That’s the hope for the fundraising breakfast being hosted at Timothy Christian School on Saturday.

Spearheaded by Jeremy and Lalitha Viinalass, members of Hi-Way Pentecostal Church, the breakfast will help raise funds to construct an orphanage, a Dream Centre, a place dedicated to protect young girls from the sex trade in India.

India is a magnificent place boasting more than a sixth of the world’s population. The country is riding a wave of economic growth, enjoying an expansion of education and technology and is now considered among the elite of industrialized countries.

Yet the country is weighed down with both rural and urban poverty. And, although deemed illegal by the government, slavery is still rampant in many of the poorer regions with children being caught up in bonded labour or the sex trade.

How do you help those children?

For the Viinalass family, a solution came to them during a family visit to India and it started with an organization called Good News India.

“There is a family connection there,” said Lalitha. “The founder of the charity is actually my cousin, Dr. Faiz Rahman.

“When he began this work more than 20 years ago, we followed it at arms length, not really knowing what was what. But as his ministry expanded everything became clearer.”

Presently, more than 2,200 children are housed and educated in 25 Dream Centres throughout India. The children stay at the centre until they have either a vocation or have entered university.

“By supporting the child until they are 16 and then releasing them, this just puts them back into the poverty cycle,” said Jeremy. “Having the child live at the centre, develop as part of the community and seeing her through to either finding a trade of entering university, it helps lift them out of that cycle, and they are a whole person.”

A family trip to India in 2008 with their children, including their 13-year-old daughter, made them realize how different her life would’ve been without ‘hope or promise.’

“We visited one of the orphanages with our children and thought, we are considering whether or not to get braces for our daughter and these kids are worried about whether or not they have food or a place to sleep,” the parents remembered.

Seeing first-hand what was possible — there were over a 100 young girls in this orphanage — and how happy and full of hope the girls were, led to the couple deciding to help.

Lalitha’s cousin went to university in the United States and had long set up his foundation there. Having had a good response north of the border, the Good News India charity has been introducing the foundation to Canada this past year.

The Viinalass’ felt that this would be the perfect time to, as they say, “put Barrie on the map” and fund a new Dream Centre, and to make it a full community effort.

“We have found the response to the project to be incredibly kind,” said Lalitha. “I think that people are trying to find a way to help, for this is a hot topic these days, girls and their future, whether it be the Middle East where they aren’t allowed to get an education or in other places in the world with human trafficking. People are very attuned to what’s going on.”

The weekend provides an opportunity to find out more about Good News India and to meet the founder Dr. Faiz Rahman.

Saturday’s breakfast is $12 and is served beginning at 9 a.m. at Timothy Christian School. Dr. Rahman will be there to answer questions. Sunday morning he will be speaking again with with one of the centre’s residents Sonja Sherpo at Hi-Way Pentecostal.

For information, to get tickets or make a donation, visit www.hiwaychurch.org, or call 705-728-0720.

History Made in Canada! Wynne Becomes Ontario's 25th Premier & First Woman!

'There were a lot of good candidates, but the best candidate won'

What Ontarians see in Kathleen Wynne is what they'll get, say local Liberals.

Wynne, 59, will become Ontario’s 25th premier - the first woman, and married gay woman, to hold the position – after winning Saturday's provincial Liberal leadership convention in Toronto.

Aileen Carroll, Barrie MPP from 2007 until 2011, says the Grits made the right choice.

“There were a lot of good candidates, but the best candidate won,” she said. “I just think she's a breath of fresh air.

“She (Wynne) is so forthright, so comfortable being the kind of politicians she is. I just thing it's a great day for Ontario.”

Stephen Chester-Bertelsen, president of Barrie Liberal Provincial Association, has a similar opinion of Wynne.

“She's an outstanding individual and I know that she has the capacity to lead certainly the Liberal Party and Ontario forward,” he said.

Wynne secured a third-ballot victory with 1,150 votes to Sandra Pupatello’s 866 at Ryerson University’s Mattamy Athletic Centre, formerly Maple Leaf Gardens, and now takes over from outgoing Premier Dalton McGuinty.

The Don Valley West MPP has all the right tools to be a good premier, Carroll said.

“She's a straight shooter. You're not ever going to see here avoid and avoid and avoid a question, because she'll take them head-on. That's her style, that's why so many of us chose her as our candidate and why so many of us worked as hard as we did,” said Carroll, one of the Barrie delegates who attended the convention.

Wynne will have immediate challenges as Ontario premier. She inherits a deadlocked minority government, a prorogued legislature and an $11.9-billion provincial deficit.

Carroll says the first things Wynne needs to do is reach out to the opposition – Progressive Conservative leader Tim Hudak and New Democratic Party leader Andrea Horwath.

Wynne had already had a conversation with Hudak, as of Sunday morning,

“The second thing is she has every intention to calm the waters with labour unions and particularly the teachers,” Carroll said.

Carroll, who didn't stand for re-election in 2011, says she doesn't expect a spring election in Ontario with Wynne leading the Liberals.

“She has every intention. . .to make this government work as long as she can,” Carroll said.

Carroll says she believes Horwath wants the same thing.

“With Tim (Hudak), whether or not there is a desire on his part to do so, there may be, but I think there's an onus on him to do so,” she said. “I think he would look very poorly among his own ranks. . .if he pulled the plug right away.

“She's going to have a honeymoon. They'd better let her have it.”

In her Sunday morning media conference, Wynne said she doesn't think Ontarians want an election and that she intends to work with Hudak and Horwath.

“I believe there are ways of finding common ground,” she said.

Chester-Bertelsen says he also thinks Wynne will reach out to the opposition parties.

He said Tuesday's Liberal caucus meeting and preparing her transition team to open the Ontario legislature on Feb. 19 are also priorities.

“My hope is, when the legislature returns, is the good work of the parliament will be done,” he said.

“The government is only a year and a half old, and the mandate was given, close to a majority. But regardless of that, there's common ground between the parties, and Ontarians want Ontario to move forward.”

Michael Johns, a political science professor at Laurentian University's Georgian College campus in Barrie, said Wynne's victory is significant.

“Any time you have something such as the first female premier, it's an important moment,” Johns said. “The question becomes whether or not she can maintain that through the next election.”

He pointed to Kim Campbell, Canada's first female prime minister – but for less than six months in 1993. Her Conservative government, and Campbell herself, were ousted in the 1993 federal election.

Johns said Wynne's largest problem, if there's a quick election, is that Ontario voters don't know her well enough. Hudak and Horwath are more established, people have seen them on TV, etc.

“They (voters) have very little perception, probably, of Kathleen Wynne, or the brand that she represents,” Johns said. “If you don't know her, how can you know her brand, and I would say that her brand has been damaged in the last year or so.

“So if she doesn't get an opportunity to introduce herself to voters, then she has to purely rely on people's opinion of the government of the day.”

Johns says Wynne has the right idea, to first see where Horwath and Hudak stand.

“Is there an opportunity for any level of co-operation with either of them on issues that would keep them (the Liberals) in office for longer than the first budget, test the waters there,” he said.

If there is, Johns says Wynne should look for an alliance of sorts with one of the two parties, to give her the time to introduce herself to voters and re-brand the party.

“If it's clear that that's not the case, then she needs to come up with a new policy paper or direction to go very, very quickly, because she's going to have to go into an election based purely on not her personality, not people's awareness of her, but what she's able to then bring with sort of a new vision for her party.”

Johns said the Tories and NDP have been gearing up for a spring election, but will test the waters first.

He noted Hudak has been releasing white or policy papers on a number of issues, although they're as much trial balloons as platform items.

Johns thinks the NDP will be looking closely at poll numbers.

“If they see the opportunity here, if people aren't going to give the Liberals an opportunity again, if people are looking at the Conservative white papers and are not finding them appealing, then they might see this as an opportunity, that now is the time to really strike,” he said.

“If the poll numbers tell them otherwise, then it might be a reason to try and co-operate, at least for a little bit, but we'll sort of know in the next little while.”

Johns says he would guess the PCs are much more ready, much more eager, for an election than the NDP.

But he says the New Democrats have had time to fine-tune their messages and should be ready for an election too.

Wynne's victory on Saturday was not a surprise, but the Liberals dominos fell the right way for her.

She and Pupatello were virtually deadlocked after the first ballot; Pupatello, however, was just two votes ahead - surprising many who thought she had a bigger lead with the party establishment.

But Wynne gathered support as the night wore on.

First it came from Eric Hoskins, who finished last on the first ballot. He directed his 150 supporters in Wynne's direction.

Then came support from fourth-place finisher Harinder Takhar.

But on the second ballot, Pupatello increased her lead to 817 votes to 750 against Wynne.

Right after that vote, however, third-placer Gerard Kennedy, then fourth-placer Charles Sousa moved their supporters to Wynne.

That was too much for Pupatello, as Wynne won the third ballot by 284 votes.

According to her website (kathleenwynne.onmpp.ca), Wynne was first elected as Don Valley West MPP in October 2003, and was re-elected to a third term in October 2011.

She was appointed to Cabinet in 2006, serving served as the education minister until 2010, then becoming transportation minister from 2010 until October 2011.

Wynne then became minister of municipal affairs and housing and as minister of aboriginal affairs on Oct. 20, 2011.

Before joining the Liberals, Wynne served as a Toronto public school trustee.

She holds a Masters Degree in linguistics from the University of Toronto and a Masters Degree in adult education from the Ontario Institute for Studies in Education. She also completed mediation training at Harvard University.

Wynne has three children, Chris, Jessie and Maggie, and two granddaughters, Olivia and Claire. She and her partner Jane have lived in North Toronto for more than 25 years.

Rose Romita gearing up for her annual community dinner

A tradition of caring and sharing will continue this yuletide season when local big-hearted caterer Rose Romita hosts the 18th edition of Rosie's Annual Community Christmas Dinner.



Rose Romita gets a hand purchasing supplies on Sunday for her 18th Rosie's Annual Community Christmas Dinner from Wholesale Club employee Jonathon White. Using cash donations, Romita buys most of her supplies for her dinners from the Burton Avenue store, which also sells gift cards which area residents can donate to the cause. Call 705 722-7763 to find out how you can help. IAN MCINROY/BARRIE EXAMINER/QMI AGENCY



It will be held on Christmas Day from noon until 6 p.m. at Central United Church, 54 Ross St.

Everyone is welcome to attend, not just the financially challenged or homeless, she said.

"Nobody should go without at this time of year," Romita said on Sunday, while stocking up on supplies at the Wholesale Club store on Burton Avenue.

"People just don't want to be home alone that day. It's not easy to cook for one or two people and there are people who have no family," she said. "Sometimes people have lost a loved one so it's a difficult time of year for them. They come and have a good time instead of staying at home and watching television."

While the event is open to anyone, there are many individuals and families in Barrie who are struggling to get by. During her first Christmas dinner 18 years ago, about 50 meals were served. Last year she served 600.

"The need is definitely there. There's too much month left at the end of the money. What you see out there are people who struggle to keep a roof over their heads and are barely able to pay their hydro bills," she added.

This past Thanksgiving, Romita cooked about 50 turkeys and she's already in the thick of things preparing for the Dec. 25 event.

"At the Thanksgiving Day dinner, they just kept coming and coming. I expect it will be busier (at Christmas). I'll be looking at no less than 75 turkeys this Christmas. If there is food left over they can take it home," she said.

The community dinner isn't just about food; it's also about friendship and fun.

"There's entertainment. Anybody who wants to play is more than welcome and they don't have to professional or anything," she said. "As far as donations go, we prefer cash but we'll definitely take turkeys, desserts, water, pop or juice as well as vegetables and potatoes.

Romita has one problem she is happy to deal with: too many volunteers.

"My phone hasn't stopped ringing in the last month-and-a-half. I have groups of people who offer to help, including families and past customers. They are of all ages and from all walks of life."

Call her at 705 722-7763 to find out how they can help, or look for her on facebook.

Do You Live Your Life Backwards?

Often people attempt to live their lives backwards:
they try to have more things, or more money,
in order to do more of what they want so they will be happier.
The way it actually works is the reverse.
You must first be who you really are, then, do what you need to do,
in order to have what you want.

~ Margaret Young ~

How true this truly is! We are always striving for more yet never truly satisfied. How often do you strive for “things” or money but at the end of the day, they’re just things. If we don’t start within ourselves and genuinely happy, then it seems no amount of money would change that. Is that right?

I was flipping channels the other night as I wanted to unwind from my day. I see Robert Herjavec (of Dragon’s Den Fame) on an interview and he said the most compelling words. Something like: ‘Your sense of worth is not the stuff you have, it’s the people you have.’ I thought for a long time I had to become rich in order to believe in myself. For my own well-being I had to become rich. I realized if you weren’t happy before you’re not going to be happy with a million dollars or a hundred million or five hundred million.’

Wow. These words hit me and are so very, very true. We must strive for internal happiness and if having regrets, negative feelings or ill-feelings of a situation or memory, it must be dealt with. Why? Because that feeling and memory will always be with you.

What’s the point of striving for only monetary things if thinking that buying this “happiness” would make everything go away? At the end of the day, alone and looking in the mirror, if you’re not happy then the image looking back at you will still be miserable and the feeling that something missing. As you read this blog you may think “no way, money would definitely make me happy and solve everything, she’s crazy because it would make everything go away”. You truly have to look within and ask yourself, would it really? Sure, it may help situations of affordability but look at Robert’s words and he knows from personal experience!

I may not be “rich” or a millionaire monetary-wise but I can’t complain. I am “rich” and blessed with so many things that I value in life and have my priorities. Family, friends, colleagues, networking group, investments, health and a great career that I absolutely love. What matters to me, may not matter to you which is what is great about this world we live in. Sure, I live in visions of wanting to create wealth like anyone else but I also have a personal “Belize” and reason why. Financial freedom for my future but also because I want to give back. My true hearts desire is to be a philanthropist.

Anyway, I want to leave you with a few thoughts and just remember:

“The happiest people don’t have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything they have.”
So look deep within and do your best to change your attitude and take out any negativity in your life. Surround yourself with like-minded individuals and develop new patterns. Write down in a journal positive words you can use to replace things like “can’t” “problem” etc. For example, instead of saying “problem” I embrace it and say “challenge” because in my mind, I love the challenge and it’s something to overcome
For more on Robert, pick up his book. I did and it was a fantastic, inspiring and humbling read! Few tips he offered:

1. Get a handle on cash flow.
2. Find a belief and a purpose.
3. Don’t fear the phone, ask for the deal.
4. Don’t complain.
5. Give your kids a sense of worth.


I truly wish you much success in your journey of being who you really are, doing what you need to do, in order to have what you want!!

Thanks for viewing! As always, have a great day and remember to “Empower yourself and inspire change in others”

Congrats Tahani, fellow Sister, Realtor, Mother, Investor and Woman!

Note From The Publisher

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