LETTER FROM A MOTHER TO A DAUGHTER

LETTER FROM A MOTHER TO A DAUGHTER:

"My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through.

If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say: “You said the same thing a minute ago”... Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same st
ory night after night until you would fall asleep.

When I don’t want to take a bath, don’t be mad and don’t embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl?

When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don’t look at me that way... remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life’s issues every day... the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through.

If I occasionally lose track of what we’re talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be nervous, impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you.

And when my old, tired legs don’t let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked.

When those days come, don’t feel sad... just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love.

I’ll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I’ve always had for you, I just want to say, I love you... my darling daughter."

Nick Cannon, Gained More Respect for this Human Being

Above all Celebrity and entertainment - showed he's a human who cares for those he acted/grew up with. Here's his open letter to childhood star Amanda Bynes below. It is a shame as my teen daughter said to me the other day..."what happened to her? I can't believe I liked her." Shame her talent is being wasted as she finds herself. Why I did not encourage my children to go into acting/modelling at an influential young age and let them decide for themselves.

Here's the original letter here th "his sister" and below:

an open letter to my sister, Amanda Bynes

As we all know I do interviews every single day about all my various projects, whether promoting AGT, Wild’N Out, my album, my stand-up special, NCredible consumer products, and various philanthropic and charitable efforts. Usually during these interviews I am consistently questioned about my wife, my kids, and my health and I happily answer them all. But as of lately I have been hit with an onslaught of questions about someone I consider family, someone I watched grow up, and someone I genuinely feel is one of the most pleasant human beings I have had the pleasure of meeting, Amanda Bynes.

The questions have ranged from, “Have you spoken to Amanda" to “Are you working on her rap album". Sometimes I would answer in a playful humorous manner and sometimes I would brush it off as another Pop culture topic that a reporter was trying to retrieve a sound bite for. But after recent events of Amanda being admitted under psychiatric care and reported as 5150, I see this as no laughing matter. I tweeted a few weeks about how the entertainment industry just consumes people and spits them out like flavorless bubblegum. A few chews of enjoyment then they’re under a city bus bench. Don’t get me wrong this is not a pity for the popular statement. I am always the first to say that fame and entertainment is one of the best and easiest occupations to ever have, but one must know how to navigate through the matrix or you may find yourself in a very dark hole. When a person is told all of their life that they are awesome, the best, the greatest and they are catered to every moment of the day. Imagine being the breadwinner in your household before you can even drive. Imagine you parents, teachers, and employers NEVER telling you NO. Anything you ask for or want, the world gives you, at some point you are bound to self-destruct. I call this “access to excess". I’ve seen it happen to many of my friends and colleagues young and old. It goes back to that old saying; “Too much of anything is bad for anyone". Whether it’s fame, money, sex, drugs, attention. It’s all a dangerous addiction. When there is no balance in your life a person will always become victim to their reality or lack thereof. The question is, when this destruction occurs, who is there to help put back the pieces. What do you do when you have no solid support system? When you feel like your friends are talking behind your back. When you feel like your co-workers are jealous and out to competitively sabotage you. When you feel your family has turned your back on you. When you feel like you parents have a conditional appreciation for you and only really love your money. You find yourself alone in that dark hole. Then you have to rely on your own devices once again in this vulnerable state. You become paranoid, frantic, manic, irrational because you can bounce your thoughts or ideas off of anyone anymore. Your reality no longer allows you to reason with the world, so you try to break through to get back to what you think is common ground. You are either trying to get back “hot" again or just searching for that adulation that you once received daily from the masses. Then enters the media, or what I like to call the ultimate magnifier. It’s like if you have a delicate piece of tissue under the sun, that tissue is under INTENSE heat with nowhere to escape but once you place a magnifying glass over that tissue, it’s bound to instantly burn up in flames. This is what I believe happens to many people in the public eye and we all sit back and judge these people for our own entertainment. We say things like, " I’m glad I’m not famous ", “Celebrities are Crazy", “See what fame and money does to people". And most of the time your assumptions and accusations maybe accurate but also inappropriate. No one on this planet needs to be judged or even has the right to judge. We are all equal and we all have our downfalls, fame or no fame. Money or no money. Life is hard for everyone in some since. And we need each other to in times of despair. No one can make it through anything alone. So I ask people who are quick to judge, tweet, report, or comment to ask yourself; what if that person was my sister? My brother? My Mother? Or me? What then would I say? In the words of the great poet and artist Bill Withers, "Sometimes in our lives We all have pain, we all have sorrow". We all end up alone in that dark hole at some point in our lives and if you don’t have a foundation of friends and family to help bring you up and out it makes that journey long and detrimental. So I say to my sister Amanda Bynes you’re not alone. I’m here for you. I understand. I care and I appreciate you, because that’s what family does and that’s what family is for. I also extend this to anyone else in my life, past or present that may find themselves in hard times. I’m here! Call me! Because I truly believe, the hand you’re helping up today may be the one you’re reaching for tomorrow. So not to be all cheesy and over sentimental but I got to end this with the ingenious Wither’s lyrics "Lean on me when you’re not strong and I’ll be your friend, I’ll help you carry on. For it won’t be long until I’ll need somebody to lean on.”

Tabloid Media Decides to Review Musicians Lady Parts Instead of Her Art/Music...check out her response

LOVE IT! Totally puts things into perspective about women, media and art. "Dear Daily Mail".... Amanda Palmer, rock star and well, woman of free speech and feels the focus as a musician should be well, on her MUSIC.
Check out this video as she craftfully creates a song to "Daily Mail" after they wrote an unflattering article about her "wardrobe malfunction" instead of reviewing the concert she performed. 

Note: She gives a little history at the beginning, the song starts about 2 minutes 29 secs. At about 4:00 minutes...she is extremely blunt and at about 4 minutes and 35 seconds....well, she gets down right "cheeky" at 5:19 well...she DEFINITELY has a point. Where are THEY in the news? Just watch the whole thing. LOL

ORIGINAL: By Amanda Palmer , singer - Amanda MacKinnon Gaiman Palmer, sometimes known as Amanda F*n Palmer, is an American performer who first rose to prominence as the lead singer, pianist, and lyricist/composer of the duo The Dresden Dolls.  *content may offend with some language and nudity (though it's blurred and not visible) warning just the same.

Violence Against Women and Children Costs YOU Money (even if you're not a victim or an abuser!)

Perspective. Why does violence against women & children effect YOU - why the policing, court and services of course. This is why we need to make it stop..
From an online article, stats and study:

"Sexual assault cases would cost the police anywhere from $10,320 to $51,225 per incident depending on the level.

On average, criminal court cases cost $1,408 per case with the average legal aid expenditure pegged at $811 per criminal court case. The justice system also incurs expenses during prosecution, incarceration, conditional sentences, probation, and civil protection.

The financial cost to victims is also great, the study finds, since many are forced to seek medical care in terms of doctor visits and hospitalization and suffer from mental health issues. These physical and mental injuries can lead to productivity losses like lost wages for female victims amounting to $136 per day and lost education which has a dollar value of $39.41 per school day (college or university).

Third parties like social services and employers also bear the brunt of sexual violence against women in Canada. Crisis lines, support centers, and victim services spend $40, $450, and $453 per incident respectively. Employers lose their employee victim's output which is 5.2 per cent of the total of lost wages. Tardiness and distraction and absences are also hurtful to their bottom line."

Oh yeah...and not forgetting to mention - repeating behaviours and patterns to the NEXT generation so costs will continue to soar. Violent programs, etc, etc








Original source from HuffPost

Women - From Survivor's Handbook - Keeping Yourself Safe - Online Tracking

How can an abuser discover your internet and mobile activities?
Spyware is becoming very easy to purchase and install on home computers and mobile phones. You may think that you are safe to access a home computer, not knowing that what you do is being tracked. Find out more about cyberstalking.

Abusers can also look at the history of sites you've visited easily...
You don't have to be a computer expert to track someone's movements online. As a rule, internet browsers will save certain information as you surf the internet. This includes images from websites visited, words entered into search engines and a trail ('history') that reveals the sites you have visited. Below are instructions on how to minimize the chances of someone finding out that you have visited this website.

Warning about deleting cookies and address historiesIt's important to state that there is a risk involved in removing data from your computer. For instance, if your partner uses online banking and has a saved password, then if you clear the cookies on your PC, your partner will realise you've done so, because their password will no longer be saved.  Also, your partner may notice if the address history on the PC has been cleared, and this may raise suspicion. On all browsers you will have a tab called History or Favorites where you can select individual websites to delete, although other traces of sites (eg cookies, passwords) may not be deleted. One way to lower the risk of suspicious history removal is to use Private browsing mode (see below). However the safest way is to use a different computer.

Private Browsing (name varies for different browsers)
This tool prevents websites from saving any data about you which may leave a trail, such as cookies, history or other browser data created or saved in that session. Your history for that session will also be deleted when you close the window.

Not to be confused with Private Filtering, which has another function and will not stop your abuser from seeing your trail! 

Generally Private Browsing can be activated in the Tools bar. This will open a new window. Remember only to use this window for your browsing session, and make sure you close it! Leaving this window open will alert your abuser that you are concerned he is tracking you.
Read more about In-Private Browsing

However, even though it helps, this mode is not entirely safe, and there are some programmes that can recover deleted files, or a determined person could still find traces of your visit if they read enough "tips" online. Again, the only safe way is to use a computer your abuser does not have access to!

Stored passwordsYour browser can store passwords to save you time, but these can also used by someone to access your account. When you first use a password on a site you will be asked if you want the browser to remember it - click no, or browse in Private Mode. However, accidents happen and you may accidentally allow a password to be saved. You can delete saved passwords either as part of your history removal or separately, depending on your browser (see below) - remember that removing all passwords may be suspicious if you share a computer.

Remember toolbars
Toolbars such as Google, AOL and Yahoo keep a record of the search words you have typed into the toolbar search box. In order to erase all the search words you have typed in, you will need to check the individual instructions for each type of toolbar. For example, for the Google toolbar all you need to do is click on the Google icon, and choose "Clear Search History".
 

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Manual deletion of history, cookies etc

How do I work out which browser I'm using?If you know what browser you are using, then skip to the relevant instructions below. If you do not know the type of browser you are using, click on Help on the toolbar at the top of the browser screen. A drop down menu will appear, the last entry will say About Internet Explorer, About Mozilla Firefox, or something similar. The entry refers to which browser type you are using - you should then refer to the relevant instructions below.

Internet Explorer 7 & 8Click on the Tools menu and select Internet Options. In the General page under Browser History, select the Delete... button. Either select and delete each section: Temporary internet files; Cookies, History; Forms data and Passwords; or select the Delete all... button at the bottom to clear everything.

Mozilla Firefox 8Click on Tools and Options. Firefox bundles cookies, forms and history under the heading ‘history’. Click the privacy tab, then on “clear your recent history”. Select the period you want to delete. Click on Details to select cookies, forms etc.

To delete passwords click on the security tab where you can view all the passwords saved when you browse the web. You can delete them here and remember not to allow Firefox to save them in the future.

In Firefox you (or someone accessing your computer) can actually read the passwords saved on your system. If you use the same passwords for many things consider changing them all if you have allowed your browser to save any.

You can also adjust how you want Firefox to store your data under the privacy tab. 

Safari To remove history go to History, and click Clear History.
To remove cookies go to Settings (right hand side), Preferences, Privacy tab and click Remove all Website Data (or Details to select certain sites).

Chrome, Opera and other browsersThere are many new browsers on the market, so it is always advisable to search for advice on your own browser. For example this tutorial shows you various security measures on Opera, or you can see the settings for Google Chrome.

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E-mails

If an abuser sends you threatening or harassing e-mail messages, they may be printed and saved as evidence of this abuse.

Be aware of how records of your emails can be accessed:

• Any email you have previously sent will be stored in sent Items. Go to sent items and delete emails you don't want a person to see
• If you started an email but didn't finish it, it might be in your drafts folder. Go to the draft folder to delete it
• If you reply to any email, the original message will probably be in the body of the message - delete the email if you dont want anyone to see your original message.
• When you delete an item in any email program (Outlook Express, Outlook, Thunderbird etc) it does not really delete the item - it moves the item to a folder called Deleted Items. You have to delete the items in Deleted Items to remove them completely
• If there's a risk that your abuser may know how to access your emails, it's a good idea to set up a new email account. Use a provider like Hotmail or Yahoo for an account you can access from anywhere, and use a name that is not recognisable as you, for example - crispycookies@gmail.com. Keep this email secret.

General security If you do not use a password to log on to your computer, someone else will be able to access your email and track your internet usage. The safest way to find information on the internet, would be at a local library, a friend's house, or at work. 

 

If you do use a password make sure it's one someone who knows you can't guess, such as your pet or birthdate, and change it regularly.

 

Visit The Survivor's Handbook Source - Women UK

Richer than Trump or Oprah: Meet China's female property magnate

Beijing (CNN) -- Zhang Xin grew up in poverty and at the age of 14 began a laboring job in a factory. Today, she is richer than Donald Trump, Steven Spielberg and Oprah Winfrey.

Zhang, a Chinese real estate developer, is the seventh richest self-made woman in the world, worth $3.6 billion, according to Forbes. She's worth $800 million more than Oprah Winfrey, the world's best known self-made female billionaire.

Not only does Zhang's rags-to-riches story mirror that of China itself, but it is Zhang who has shaped much of the country's modern urban landscape, with the logo of her company SOHO China, on the side of buildings wherever you turn in Beijing.

SOHO China has 18 developments in Beijing, many of them landmark buildings, and has recently expanded to Shanghai, where it has bought or built 11 properties.

Two of her Beijing projects -- one completed last year and another under construction -- are designed by the Pritzker Prize-winning architect Zaha Hadid.

Zhang, 47, was born in Beijing just before Mao Zedong's Cultural Revolution, when educated people like her parents were sent to the fields for "re-education". She returned to Beijing with her mother, but they endured poverty and hardship.

"I was born and grew up when the city was very quiet: no cars, no shops, no lights, no machines. People were just on bicycles," she said

At 14, she and her mother moved to Hong Kong, where she spent five years in low-paid factory jobs, manufacturing toys, clothes and electronics, trying to save enough to go to England for an education.

I was born and grew up when the city was very quiet: no cars, no shops, no lights, no machines.
Zhang Xin

"As a new immigrant to Hong Kong with no education, no background, didn't even speak the local language or dialect, Cantonese, and it was just a hard way to live in Hong Kong," said Zhang.

It took Zhang five years to save enough for a plane ticket to London and an English language course. She won a scholarship to university, studied for a Master's degree in economics at Cambridge University and landed her first job for Goldman Sachs in New York.

Instead of remaining in her comfortable life in Wall Street, Zhang returned to Beijing, where she met her husband, and together they started SOHO China.

"There was excitement of people talking about how to change China, and it was a very intellectually vibrant time," she said. "I felt that this country was really making a transition and I wanted to be a part of that."

Since Zhang and her husband Pan Shiyi formed SOHO China in 1995, it has become China's largest commercial real estate developer, owning 56 million square feet in prime developments in Beijing and Shanghai.

While Zhang's story is incredible -- giving her celebrity status in China -- it is not unique. Of Forbes' 2013 list of 24 self-made female billionaires, six are from China (including one from Hong Kong), more than any other country outside the United States.

"I think women of our generation went through Cultural Revolution, went through hardship, coming from nowhere, and suddenly see China's amazing opportunity," said Zhang. "So women just seized the opportunity."

I felt that this country was really making a transition and I wanted to be a part of that.
Zhang Xin

Zhang has a following of more than 5 million on Weibo, the Chinese social media site often compared with Twitter, where she shares her views on business, current affairs and architecture.

But despite her financial success, Zhang, who practices the Baha'i faith, avoids excessive trappings of wealth, even suggesting her 14-year-old son find a job in McDonald's or KFC. He tried, but was too young to be accepted.

"It's not easy to be my sons because we're very high profile. We try so hard to give them a normal life," she said.

"I'm very, very tight with them about money. I don't give that money until they ask, 'I need 100 yuan for my lunch card,' and so on. So they never have extra money. But I think that still cannot compare to how we came, where we came (from)."

*original posting CNN

real women

by HANNE BLANK 

Excuse me while I throw this down, I’m old and cranky and tired of hearing the idiocy repeated by people who ought to know better.

Real women do not have curves.   Real women do not look like just one thing.

Real women have curves, and not.   They are tall, and not.  They are brown-skinned, and olive-skinned, and not.  They have small breasts, and big ones, and no breasts whatsoever.

Real women start their lives as baby girls.  And as baby boys.  And as babies of indeterminate biological sex whose bodies terrify their doctors and families into making all kinds of very sudden decisions.

Real women have big hands and small hands and long elegant fingers and short stubby fingers and manicures and broken nails with dirt under them.

Real women have armpit hair and leg hair and pubic hair and facial hair and chest hair and sexy moustaches and full, luxuriant beards.  Real women have none of these things, spontaneously or as the result of intentional change.  Real women are bald as eggs, by chance and by choice and by chemo.  Real women have hair so long they can sit on it.  Real women wear wigs and weaves and extensions and kufi and do-rags and hairnets and hijab and headscarves and hats and yarmulkes and textured rubber swim caps with the plastic flowers on the sides.

Real women wear high heels and skirts.  Or not.

Real women are feminine and smell good and they are masculine and smell good and they are androgynous and smell good, except when they don’t smell so good, but that can be changed if desired because real women change stuff when they want to.

Real women have ovaries.  Unless they don’t, and sometimes they don’t because they were born that way and sometimes they don’t because they had to have their ovaries removed.  Real women have uteruses, unless they don’t, see above.  Real women have vaginas and clitorises and XX sex chromosomes and high estrogen levels, they ovulate and menstruate and can get pregnant and have babies. Except sometimes not, for a rather spectacular array of reasons both spontaneous and induced.

Real women are fat.  And thin.  And both, and neither, and otherwise.  Doesn’t make them any less real.

There is a phrase I wish I could engrave upon the hearts of every single person, everywhere in the world, and it is this sentence which comes from the genius lips of the grand and eloquentMr. Glenn Marla:

There is no wrong way to have a body.

I’m going to say it again because it’s important: There is no wrong way to have a body.

And if your moral compass points in any way, shape, or form to equality, you need to get this through your thick skull and stop with the “real women are like such-and-so” crap.

You are not the authority on what “real” human beings are, and who qualifies as “real” and on what basis.  All human beings are real.

Yes, I know you’re tired of feeling disenfranchised.  It is a tiresome and loathsome thing to be and to feel.  But the tit-for-tat disenfranchisement of others is not going to solve that problem.  Solidarity has to start somewhere and it might as well be with you and me.

NOTE: Due to the overwhelming popularity of this post, and after a handful of requests for a version of this that could be distributed in print form, I have created a PDF of this text that you can download and print for free.

Download the PDF.