Playing "Victim" and Who's Life Is It Anyway?

Playing "Victim" and Who's Life Is It Anyway?

People who play the victim game often point fingers at others as the responsible party for their situation that they're in now. How many times have we heard people say: "I'm so frustrated because...", "I never get a chance to...", "I am unhappy because...", "I can't have this because...",  "Can you believe he did this to me? What a jerk. Now I can't..." "Can you believe she said that? What a b*. Now I can't..." " Ugh, my life sucks." or "I don't have a life."  

But we do have a life, we do have many opportunities and chances to make a difference...not only in our own life but also the ability to impact others.  This can be a positive influence or bad, but that depends on us. We all have the same amount of time given to us in a day and it's what we do (or don't do) within that time that makes a difference. Life truly is what we make it.

In our every day conversations we can sabotage ourselves. It's unfortunate that it has become "common" for such comments  to be made and almost acceptable to blame others for not getting what they want and always complaining. Are we not responsible for our own opportunities (whether we take them or not), happiness, health, wealth and everything in our life? Isn't it our life and aren't things within our control? Haven't our parents taught us to be responsible and take accountability of our actions? Weren't we taught as children to face the consequences of our actions whether we did something bad? Weren't we rewarded when we did something really great? So if we're sitting back and blaming others for what is within our control then one isn't taking responsibility...just "passing the buck". Choices lie within ourselves and in essence, we truly can (and do) create our own destiny.


How many times have we said to ourselves: "I will be happy when... " (finish that sentence...whether new shoes, clothing, vacation, big house, expensive car, husband, wife, etc.), then we are looking at the glass as being "half empty" and cheating ourselves out of the wonderful things that we do have and all the wonderful things we have accomplished so far. Why cheat ourselves from that celebration? Isn't this what life is about? 

At a younger age I was taught that life is a gift. Nothing is promised to us but it is up to me to be appreciative and grateful for every morning that I have and the gift of breathing another day.  If you do not appreciate the present, how do you know when to be grateful and happy when you have the things you wanted or "wished for", yet still thinking there's always more. We'd be like that dog chasing our tail wouldn't we?

This is kind of in line with my "Frog" post. Here are some tips:

• Be Clear on What You Want - write it down. It's private but create yourself a "vision" board. Whether on a Bristol board or download some photos and tuck away in a file on your computer, create the vision so you'll see it visually everyday.  Focus on it. Create that vision so it's embedded in your brain as you continue your daily tasks.
• Set Your Priorities - only you know what is important to you and only you can set those boundaries. Don't think of having "limitations" or you're setting yourself up to fail. Do something toward reaching your goal instead of nothing.
• Get A Mentor - sometimes communication is a key factor but be guarded because there will always be a "nay-sayer" and this person will influence you not to achieve your goal. Whether your choice or vision is spiritual, financial, family or health, find someone with a common interest who can 'mentor' you and be support that you need to help you with your clear vision.
• Write a Journal - keep track of your successes and "failures". There are going to be moments when that good ol' self doubt and sense of failure will set in. We do that self-talk all the time and come part of our daily routine that we can easily talk ourselves out of things and stop doing it. Create a journal of your emotions and focus on the positive and your rewards. Keeping your clear vision will help you "keep on, keeping on" so you don't talk yourself out of keeping your goal.
• "Just Do It". You have to develop a take action mindset that you "can" and "will". The responsibility for achieving what you want lies within yourself. Just thinking about how you want to do something isn't enough. Nothing is ever a sacrifice and some things may have to be re-routed or altered but in the end, if it's achieving YOUR goal, you have to go the distance and do what it takes to get there. Don't set yourself up for failure before you even start. Just do it or you will be in the same situation and could very easily just talk yourself out of it.

If you have children, when you're disciplining it's not because you want to harm them, it's for their own good of moral values and responsibility, right? Why? You want the best for them, right? Why not wanting the best for ourselves? If you think of it as "tough love" for yourself then you should remain focused on your dream. If at any point through your journey you say "you can't" then you're right because you've just given up and set yourself up for failure. 

Ever heard the saying "dream to achieve"... In order to do that you must stop the blame game, complaining, or making excuses about why you have not achieved what you want. Whenever you look in the mirror the person responsible for your life is the person looking back at you in the mirror.

If you're not going to take responsibility now for achieving what you want, when are you? There's never any "milestone" and the time for living your life is now. However, if that's what helps you set a goal so you have a time frame then set it, reach it and don't let anyone stand in your way. You'll be proud of yourself that you did! Remember, don't seek perfection and if you have to make "alterations" to your vision, keep looking at everything as successes. As long as you're on the path, keep persevering and you'll get there. Believe in yourself. We can be our own worst critics so starting with that changing that first mindset is definitely key. Perhaps it's fear of achieving your goal then you really need to sit down to at least half an hour of uninterrupted silence and evaluate what's important to you. Don't let self doubt set you up for failure before you start. YOU CAN DO IT.

Are You A Fighter?

Are You A Fighter?

The heading is not what you think. Not fighting in the arguing, physical sense but a fighter?
First of all, before I jump into my blog, it's not really going to be a daily thing. It will be when time permits and also when I feel that I have a relevant thought or point. Don't get me wrong, I have relevant thoughts all the time but sometimes not so much in the "sharing publicly" and posting kind of way.

My passion is empowerment and women's rights on all accounts. My common-law husband makes cracks (not in a mean-spirited way) about my feminism and for years I shied away from being called a feminist. I didn't feel that I was doing some "all women - girl power" extreme and didn't want to antagonize any men that I have a great friendship and collaboration with but when I explore the definition of the word it is about empowerment and women's strength. In that, there's no shame. Women exude strength and have to endure so much responsibility. Don't get me wrong as there are fabulous men out there who can be great partners and share this responsibility but in the end, you know it's the women that are the one's to wear all the hats: mother, nurse, taxi driver, cook, cleaner, teacher, wife, employee, business owner, and the list goes on. If a single mother and no support, that list just grows.

My questions are: balance - how do we find it? When do we crack? When do we havetime to crack? I guess this is up to the individual and truly is a time management thing. It is important to take time out of our day, even if for just two minutes to exhale and have a drink of your favourite beverage. So if you have to fight for that time, so-be-it!

Okay, I got off topic a little. The above kind of ties in but not the bulk of what carries my thoughts today. Am I fighter? In most cases, I pride myself on being that and would like to say yes. However, I have a confession. I have not lived up to my responsibilities or privileges. I am reminded by the video below just how much other women before me had to FIGHT for the right for equality to be called and regarded as a "person". They had to fight for the right to vote so that it would allow me the opportunities today to have a voice. If you can, minimize the video and listen to it as you carry on with other work. It's a really great listen.

How have I failed? I don't vote. I remember the excitement I felt at turning 18 and the right to vote. For years I faithfully did my duty only to see the politicians that were voted into office totally turn their backs on any campaign promises and what seemed to be self-fulfilling. I realize it's not possible to please every single person in the Municipality, Province or Country. (I'm sure that I will face criticism for my post but this is my personal opinion in which I am totally entitled to. I'm sure others may agree even when others may not.)

How do you choose? What do you do when you've lost faith in the people that don't do what they say they're going to do? People are people and there's human error or miscommunication. What if you know the person on a personal level and just can't get past their history or people they're associated with? There's some sort of lack of trust and you question what people's motivations are. Are they good intentioned and well-meaning? Do you befriend them anyway because "it's the political thing" to do and may need to call in "favours"? That's pretty shallow isn't it but also how the world runs right? Not what you know but who you know right? Why can we not change that? Do we just have to keep accepting it and shrug our shoulders in defeat that "that's just the way things are done"? Isn't your name your reputation? What do you want to put your name to? I'm glad I'm not American in the fact that I have to "register" and be a loyal and faithful Democrat or Republican. To be loyal to that no matter who the person is? At least we have a choice here in Canada in voting Liberal, Progressive Conservative, etc. (Ok, I don't exactly recall how US Politics works and would never profess to but I've seen many friends wear their Political stance and pride on their shoulders which has caused many an argument at parties if politics is discussed).

Sure, in some cases it's not the political person's fault when they have to have other members vote and agree but if the general population does not agree, why are "we, the people" not heard? Prime example? Look at the implementation of the HST and other things. Politics, in my opinion, is basically about who's the most popular and do people truly have our best interests at heart? I had the opportunity of working in Government and you had to shake so many hands, keep a smile on your face and be fake. I just couldn't do it. I wear my heart on my sleeve and though I'm not Simon Cowell, I have no problem expressing how I feel. (This is also another reason why sometimes I need to type and keep drafts instead of uploading the blogs right away..LOL).

So, the video below reminds me to be grateful. Women before us fought really hard. Should I still vote knowing how I feel? I don't want these women's actions to be in vain and know I need to be a fighter in all aspects of life. Other Countries are at war to have this right and fight to even have the opportunity or be heard!

I honestly don't know. This is a struggle that I will have to overcome but appreciate your comments and insight.

Thanks for viewing! As always, have a great day and remember to "Empower yourself and inspire change in others"

Question of Loyalty?

Question of Loyalty?

Good morning folks!

As I'm sitting here drinking my coffee, going over and replying to emails and returning calls I'm reflecting on what I can write on my blog today. If I were to write on my daily thoughts then this blog would be an hourly thing and not daily!

I was thinking to myself "what do I want today's thought to be"? Then it occurred to me as I wrapped up a phone call and read multiple emails from various mortgage brokers that send me newsletters and rate info so I'll be in their network of referrals, which one of these mortgage brokers would I use and be loyal to?

Loyalty: the state or quality of being loyal; faithfulness to commitments or obligations. 

Big word huh? "Failthfulness to commitments or obligations". Ok, we do that in our every day life, jobs, children, schedule, life. "Faithfulness", what about our partners in life? Ourselves? "Faith in ourselves" you're asking. Yes, ourselves. How many times have you said "I can't do that". You've lost faith in yourself and your desire to implement change, breaking old habits.
To our partners, there's so much deception and high divorce rates that it's almost become "acceptable". Everything takes work and unless it's abuse, why not try to work things out instead of being loyal and committed?

Business loyalty. Do commission-driven, career driven people lose their loyalty to colleagues and customers for the sake of getting ahead and making more money? Is that ok? In my opinion, no as it's unethical but you know it happens. The adage is "business is business" so apparently that's perfectly acceptable. Sure, that may happen one time but would you refer or ever use their business or that person again?

So it's a matter of perception and what I tell my children is that you get out of life what you put into it. I was told a long time ago by a very tough female american executive "Shannon, it doesn't matter what your intention is but what the perception of what people have about you". Well though people are going to conjur up whatever perceptions they have of you, you still have to be true to yourself. At the end of the day, you have to live with yourself and look in the mirror. It is just not possible to be everything to everyone and make them happy. It's just not. We're all made up differently with varying opinions so what one person may love about me, another person can absolutely detest.

So, loyalty. I'm loyal to myself and working in the utmost ethics I can. I'm loyal to my clients and customers because it's not just about the deal. My clients can attest to how I work. I'm loyal to my children and my life partner because I made that committment and strong in that character. When you make that firm committment, it makes life less stressful (at least I think) because there's no grey area. It's either wrong or right and no one has to backpaddle. If you know where your loyalties stand, and stand firm, no one can dispute that and then can hopefully say "wow, what an admirable trait". If someone doesn't understand, they're meant to be kept at arm's length because that's not the kind of person you'd want to be associated with or put your name to.

So for those mortgage brokers out there that just grab my email and send me stuff for the sake of creating their database, thanks for taking the initiative. In the end, I forward clients to Mortgage Consultants with whom I have a relationship with because my name is attached to them and I know how they work. It's about getting the best customer service and attention they deserve. It's not about me being #1, it's the clients.


Thanks for viewing! As always, have a great day and remember to "Empower yourself and inspire change in others"

Charity Drive – To Benefit the Local Women & Children’s Shelter

Charity Drive – To Benefit the Local Women & Children’s Shelter

Charity Drive – To Benefit the Local Women & Children's Shelter

This is how you can best help the Women and Children presently living in the shelter, or those who have left the shelter to begin life as a family, free from abuse? Sometimes the hardest step is taking that first one to leave, with nothing and having to start over. It's the first step in the right direction…

The Women's Shelter is a non-profit organization. Shannon Murree of RE/MAX Chay Realty Inc, Brokerage is organizing a Charity Drive and need your help!

Below are some items that are truly needed.

You may think of others, feel free to donate whatever you can.

For The Women:
Gift certificates (groceries, WalMart - these do not expire.)
Pajamas, nightgowns, robes, slippers, socks, and underwear- all sizes
Small household items-dishes, cutlery, pots & pans, coffee makers, toasters, cooking utensils, baking pans/sheets
Bus passes and phone cards are very much needed
Notepads, address books, day timers and books for journaling
Toiletries – deodorant, toothbrushes, toothpaste, perfume or gift packs

For The Children:

Teen boy, teen girl and infant gifts are especially needed

Notepads, books for journaling
Gift certificates from music stores, theatres, restaurants, sports Centres, clothing stores and WalMart
Bus passes and phone cards (quite often this is required for safety)

For The Shelter:Sugar, tea, hot chocolate, juice, bottled water
School lunch items (drinking boxes, snack foods, health bars etc, puddings, fruit cups etc.)
Meat - pork, beef, chicken etc. (or grocery gift certificate/gift cards)
Juice, canned vegetables and fruit, cereal, pasta sauces, canned pasta, condiments, (mustard, relish, ketchup, pickles)
jams, jellies, baking items
Diapers, (size 4,5,6) baby wipes, baby monitors
Gift certificates to purchase formula ie. Shoppers Drug Mart or WalMartBlankets and/or Single Bed Sheets
Clock radio's, hair dryers, curling irons, hairbrushes, combs
Shampoo, hair conditioner, mousse/gel, hair accessories, toothpaste, handsoap
Kleenexes, towels/ face cloths, bath mats
Wrapping paper, tags, tape, gift bags

Anything, is appreciated and whatever you can afford to offer can be used.These women have made a difficult choice and starting with nothing.**ALSO ACCEPTING**
GENTLY USED, NEWISH LOOKING WINTER COATS/MITTS & BOOTS
HAVE YOUR CHILDREN GROWN OUT OF THEM? PLEASE BRING THEM BY!

**deadline is Saturday, December 5^th, 2009**

Drop off donations at one of the following RE/MAX Chay Realty Inc, Brokerage locations at:152 Bayfield Street or 12 Fairview Rd (Barrie),2 Summerset (Angus),1070 Innisfil Beach Rd (Innisfil)

If you prefer a cheque, financial donation or gift card, please contact me (Shannon Murree 722-7100) to arrange pick up as we do not want this dropped off at the Remax office

(If you're out of these areas, please contact your local shelter and help to make a difference please.)Thank you!

Shannon P Murree

Buyer Representative REMAX Chay Realty Inc, Brokerage 152 Bayfield St, Barrie, Ontario Phone: (705) 722-7100 or (416) 362-7100

Still In Shock...RIP Michael Jackson

Still In Shock...RIP Michael Jackson

I know there's a lot of controversy...it's about the artist and entertainer.

For me, as a young girl, I was mixed and he broke down racial barriers. I was a dancer and choreographer, and his music and moves influenced me as an artist. I'm still a loss for words.

RIP 1958-2009

MJ

Thank you and yes, "I will remember the time when we first met"...

Don't Stop Til You Get Enough

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_hz2am90Hk

Beat It

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uqxo1SKB0z8

Performance on "Soul Train" (original) with J5

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffHUlI0E_hA

MJ performs at "Soul Train" 25th Anniversary:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQiB7SroDQk

Montage of dance moves....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKBLxh3u0tM

Speed Demon Dance

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aF1kVZz6ag8

THE MOON WALK/BILLIE JEAN (Live)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7MmEMrCRfc

Thanks for viewing! As always, have a great day and remember to "Empower yourself and inspire change in others"

Gratitude - Open Letter to my children

Gratitude - Open Letter to my children

I remember a few years ago when I had the time to watch Oprah. I recall an episode about a writing a journal and book of gratitude.


I'm reminded again about writing and thinking of something to be thankful for.


It seems that our days are so stressful. We're mothers, teachers, drivers/taxis, home maker, employee, boss, sportsmoms, oh the list goes on and on. Some days we just want to just retreat in our little corner and scream don't we? Then there are those other times that we look down at the little people we have (meaning our children...if you have any), or look at a family member or just someone that blesses us in our life. Thank goodness for those people that just love us and make us feel good. Thank goodness sometimes for the runny noses and the feeling that we're needed, that we're loved.


As I face the challenges sometimes of the teenage years ahead of me, I'm trying my best to be calm and learning real fast that the disciplining for my five year old doesn't exactly work the same on my thirteen year-old anymore. It's not just the "because that's the rules". The older ones are struggling with their independence and they seem to want an answer and justification as to "why". I've struggled with feeling that I don't feel like I need to give a reason but lately I thought, why not?" They're not being rude or demanding and just curious my reason. So lately I've calmly and rationally given a slight insight and trying to offer them options. Why? Because one day they're going to be a parent too and I want them to understand the reasoning.


My children, are good children. I'm blessed and proud. No one is perfect obviously but my little people are trying to respect the rules and come out ahead as far as being independent.


I realize this blog may be a little bit all over the place today. That kind of goes inline with my thought! So, I guess I'm trying to say, parenting is hard. Parents, you're not alone if you're having a rough day. Just keep trying to communicate. I'm learning and thankful we're making some break-throughs. I don't miss being a teenager that's for sure!


So to my children, here's an open letter:

I'm grateful for you and love you. No matter what
happens and I know what you're going through. I'm always here to support you and
most of all will do my best to listen. Please come to me no matter what and
always tell me the truth. I can't promise that I won't get mad, but as a mom,
always have your back and will do my best to be patient and understanding.


I want you to know that my door is always open and that
you always have a place to come to for support. Even if you don't need me to say
anything and just want to vent, I'm here. There are so many pressures on you as
young people. Even if you just need a hug and just had a crappy day and can't
explain it, I'm here. You've got all those emotions, hormones, social stuff etc
all going on.


I pray you don't get into "the wrong crowd" and that
you never feel afraid to stand up for yourself and strong enough convictions to
walk away from a situation you're not comfortable with. I can only hope that the
more I let you go to be independent, strong young people, that you make the
right decisions and that as a parent, I've done my job.


Love you guys! You're the best. Thank you for blessing
and enriching my life. There's no other love that's unconditional and the bond
between parent and child is amazing and unbreakable.


Love,
mom
xo

YEAH FOR LONG WEEKENDS!!

YEAH FOR LONG WEEKENDS!!

Sorry for the caps but I'm just so excited. It's our first long weekend which signifies summer! Okay so the weather isn't super, super great but I'm going to be thankful that I'm not going up "north" and doing all that travelling. I'm in the good City of Barrie and we have our beautiful back yard all set up with our deck, patio, gazebo, hot tub and ready for our own personal little getaway!!

I'm really looking forward to having a few friends over. What are everyone's plans? I would love to hear what your plans are? Having company over? BBQ? Travel? Opening up the cottage? Going to a friends cottage? The opportunities are endless aren't they?

So grateful for the opportunities that exist. Do you know the meaning of Victoria Day. Now it isn't really "May Two-Four" is it?

Well, whatever you do and however you're meant to celebrate, I hope you have the chance to enjoy with friends, family, etc.



****Empowering Women, Inspiring Change****