New Years "Resolutions" Reality Check "Resolution", as defined as: a resolve or determination: to make a firm resolution to do something.

New Years "Resolutions" Reality Check

"Resolution", as defined as: a resolve or determination: to make afirm resolution to do something.

 How are you doing? No, really. Search deep down and be honest with yourself. How are you doing? We are now at the second last week of January and being January 23rd, we're either onto new habits or back to the old ones. Research shows it takes 21 days to break a habit. Did you lose faith in yourself? Have you been focused on your strengths or weaknesses? Did you set realistic goals? Are they YOUR goals or mirror of someone else's? Did you develop a plan? Did you set up a reward system for yourself? Did you visualize them or "just go for it"? It's NOT too late. Dust yourself off and get back at it again. Set yourself up for a "win-win" because you deserve every happiness in the world. Do not wait for next year to make a resolution. Dig deep and the time for whatever you want to change is NOW. Tomorrow is never promised to us. Heck, the next hour isn't even promised to us. We can set out on our routine, walk out the door and "smack", get hit by a car. Dramatic effect? No, reality. We never know what course or direction our lives are meant to take but wouldn't you rather make every day worth the day that you want to live and make good habits? No more negative self-talk or doubt. Are you tired of the same patterns? Tired of talking yourself out of things "oh, I can't do this" or "I always suck at this" "I'll never change". Time to start talking yourself into it instead of out of it. Wouldn't you rather be proud of yourself? There is nothing wrong with being your own cheerleader.

Ok...now go get lined paper or open up your Microsoft Word doc. Really...go get it and let's commit by writing this down. Lock yourself up for at least 10 minutes of total solitude and no disruptions. Hide in the bathroom if you need to. Right now, YOU'RE important.


STEP 1.
The first step in breaking old habits is deciding what new habits you want to create with your life energy. Start asking yourself these questions:


* What do you want your life to look like?
* What habits do you need to eliminate?
* What positive habits do you need to develop to make your life look like you want it to look?

These desires must be realistic and obtainable. What is your intuition telling you about what you should be doing?

Listening to your intuition is one of the most intelligent things you can ever do with your life energy. Your intuition always guides you in the direction that is perfect for you. It is that small voice that is not affected by egos, past failures, or other people?s opinions. It is your inner guiding light.

In your journal, keep notes on what your intuition tells you about the strategies and the resources that might empower you.

STEP 2.
Crystallize your thinking. Determine what specific goals you want to achieve.


What habits are you letting go? 

What habits are you creating in place of the old ones?

Your goals need to be specific, measurable, and realistic.

To do this you'll have to avoid  thinking like this: "I want to lose weight." What does that really mean? For your subconscious mind to be able to serve you it must receive very specific directions.

STEP 3.
Develop a sincere desire for the things you want.Desire is the starting point for all achievement. It's the greatest motivator of every human action.

Frequently, your mind is more motivated by pictures and visualization than it is with words and written exercises. The right side of your brain is where your creativity comes from, and it thrives on pictures. Many times the right side of your brain takes precedence over the left side, which thrives on words. In the past, you may have just written words down to reach your goals. Add this new dimension to your process.

Draw, cut out pictures, or take photographs of what you want in life. Put pictures up on your refrigerator, your bathroom mirror, on your smartphone, on your laptop, iPad, create a private photo album on Facebook or any place that will remind your subconscious mind of your desires to reinforce your goal.
Every thought you have uses electrical energy to imprint a new picture in your subconscious mind. The efforts of your subconscious mind are to match the pictures in your mind with reality.

The more you deliberately plant pictures of what you want, the faster you will attract it into your life. It's very important that you allow yourself to fantasize about what you want in your life - let your imagination run wild! This way, when you see the pictures so often, when you close your eyes you can see them. Create a reality. 
To achieve what it is you want in life, you must think about it. There are no limits except those we put on ourselves. This is your life and you're only cheating yourself. You can tell people that you're succeeding at achieving your goal but if you're truly not...you're cheating and hurting yourself. No one else. You must feel your success before you can manifest it in reality.


STEP 4.
Develop a plan for achieving your goal, and a deadline for its attainment. The difference between a "wish" and a "goal" is that the goal is written down. Once you have a clear picture of what you want in life, your subconscious and conscious mind can work together to achieve it.


When you prioritize and focus you can literally see what you want; this gives you the power of concentration. Deliberate concentration is like a laser beam - it can cut through any obstacles in your path.


STEP 5.
Distinguish between goals and activities. A goal is the specific end result you want to manifest in your life. Activities are those things you do to achieve your goals.


Use the skill of awareness, and remember the goal. Don't get stuck in the activities.


STEP 6.
Create deadlines for your goals. 
Without deadlines your brain doesn't have a clear picture of what you want created. Deadlines have a magical way of motivating us to produce results.


First write your *one-year* goals on paper, then write down all the activities you will have to do to reach each goal.


Start by asking yourself what is the very first activity I must do to get started on this goal? Then write down each following activity that will take you closer to the one year goal.

STEP 7.
Break down the activities for each goal into 3 month groups. Ask yourself "What are the activities I must do in the first three months to achieve my goal?" Write those down.

Then think about the activities you'll need to follow up in the following three months. By breaking down the goals into manageable, bite-size pieces, you'll feel more in control.

The secret is that this divide-and-conquer approach keeps achieving your goals from becoming overwhelmingly complicated.


STEP 8.
Make YOUR goals YOURS.

Time for a reality check. Don't set a goal for yourself that your spouse (or anyone else for that matter) wants for you. Revise your current goals to ensure they REALLY meet YOUR needs, not someone else's desires for you. You will never be successful achieving goals that are not motivated by your own desires. Moreover, don't compare your goals with other people's goals - you'll always come up short. The reality is that we usually compare our worst traits with someone else's best traits and we can never win that way.


Thanks for viewing! As always, have a great day and remember to "Empower yourself and inspire change in others" Wishing you much success in health, wealth and happiness.....

Power of Forgiving, Forgetting & Becoming Wonder Woman

How often have we heard “forgive and forget”. Because you see, “to error is being human.” Of course we’re human and we are bound to make mistakes so small miniscule things are easy to overlook and forgive but what about those times when someone has intentionally done something to you (and your family) for their own selfish, childish gain? Not hurting you in the physical bullying sense but has altered your life so drastically that in that one split second that you have your head in the clouds thinking everything is ok, you receive a phone call, have a meeting and find yourself in the hotseat defending accusations that are just simply not true.

If you know anything about me, my history and have been following my blogs…I’m about ethics and moral character. Not moral character where I judge people, this is wrong. I’m not perfect and just because I choose to live my life one way or believe there’s something in the Universe that watches over us to protect us does not mean it’s right but what works for me. And also, I believe, “judge not, lest you be judged” because I totally believe in Karma and what goes around -comes around so if you put bad stuff out there, it will come back to you in tri-fold. Put good stuff out there and it will come back to you in greatness.

Enough of the history. Apparently as humans we must forgive and move on. One, because of the many negative emotions and physiologically things it does to our bodies. If we’re forever holding onto a grudge then we’re also holding onto the past. Meanwhile, the person that you’re holding this grudge on has probably not given it another thought and their lives have moved on…so why should we stay back and dwell on it? Because that’s what we tend to do.

Are you a believer that everything happens for a reason? If not, perhaps you should. Let’s draw on my personal experience of being in the hotseat.

Whatever happened that day, I still not know what I did or said to that person to make them conjure up the lie they told and presented to the friend I was defending myself to. Looking back, any “friend” that calls you one, should truly know you and what kind of character you are. Anyway, the events that day left me stunned, hurt and affected not only me and changing my course and direction in life, but my family. You know that mama cubs are protectors so it was with that anger that actually moved in because that person’s lie went well above me at that point. I digress. It’s been about 4 years and someone from that inner circle has moved back in my life. I received an email and though I thought I had moved on all those feelings rushed back at me like the event was yesterday. So do we truly “forgive and forget”? Honestly, no we don’t so let’s be honest with ourselves. However, we do have choices and this is what I have learned:

the physiological effects of that negativity from someone else does not affect me anymore
I’m actually GRATEFUL!! Yes, that’s right, you read correctly. I’m truly, 100% grateful. Like I said before “everything happens for a reason” and though I could not see it through the feelings of devastation at the time I did what was necessary. Brushed myself off, took direction and what was necessary to take care of my family and moved on. What I THOUGHT was supposed to be my direction was actually hurting and limiting me and now my wings have spread even wider in a total 180 direction I never thought possible. New opportunities have presented themselves almost every day….some even beyond my wildest imagination.
guess what…I WIN! That’s right. After all these years I didn’t begrudge so whatever little satisfaction you had in giving your performance and lie was a waste. I’ve seen photos around with your smile and I believe that you get to carry your dishonesty around with you. Guess what? When I look in the mirror, the peace is a luxury knowing I truly stand with moral character…no fakeness behind my smiles
Ok, this post was long overdue. Probably one of the most personal but had to put it out there. When you’re in a City, it still doesn’t seem that big because of all the inner circles and bound to run into that person which I finally did. I did not put my head down or scowl. In fact, I did nothing but hold my head high and listen in silence as I waited my turn in line at the cashier. I could feel her nervousness and awkwardness and always wondered how I would react when I saw her again. Nothing.

I feel peace and contentment. Have I forgiven and forgotten? Obviously one can’t really forget about life altering events in life but I’m not dwelling on it. It actually was character-building, has opened my eyes to the true friends and network I allow in my inner circle and altered my life course and work in another direction that is actually better. As far as forgiveness, I actually feel sorry and empathy….how’s that for a change of events? Not sorry in the “apologetic sense” but how sad that there’s this deep down core of unsettling as a direct result of her actions. It was evident by the physiological signs she displayed when she saw me. So the forgiveness part is within herself and something she’ll have to deal with.

The Spirit or “inner voice” is always whispering something in our ears. What does yours tell you? If you have any unsettlement in your life, deal with it so you too can close the door on any negativity and be able to move on and embrace the great things that are destined for you to have. So that is my rant for the day and hopefully, this chapter can now come to a close. So people I have not seen since that day and happen to run into me again…don’t have to apologize or feel awkward because they’re friends and please don’t keep trying to suck me back into the past. It’s happened. It’s over. Newsflash, it’s been about 4 years and I’ve moved on. I’m ok and didn’t go sulk in the corner and this person didn’t have the power to influence my life into devastation.

Anyone reading this, I hope that whatever situation you have experienced in your life….you shift the power back to you. Don’t let the feeling of devastation hold you back and do your best to claw your way back up, eyes wide open and don’t let yourself be stabbed in the back again. That’s character-building and you’ll be stronger and more capable of handling any other mud slinging that may come your way! I promise you that! So, let’s be Wonder Women together and deflect all that negativity and bring contentment into our lives which is what we truly deserve and much more ful-filling anyway!

Wish you all the best in health, wealth and happiness always.

Final Post 2010

As I've been agonizing what my final post for 2010 would be (why, I have no clue why it would be "stressful" but did want my final thought to be "perfect"). There's no such thing as a "perfect" blog post as one is noting his/her own thoughts so unless posting something offensive, really there are no mistakes. However, I should warn you that this is not my usually light-hearted, positive post and going to be extremely blunt and to the point. One may call it an intervention if you will. The "why" is that it's time to implement change and going to be very direct and time for self exploration.

By now, everyone is posting well wishes and happiness. I want to repeat that I usually post about being positive, inspirational and being motivated. The repeated warning is that the intent is not to offend or for anyone to think "who the heck does she think she is". The words expressed here apply to all of us. For a moment, let's think about the glass being "half full" instead of looking at the glass "half empty".

Are you saying "thank God 2010" is over? Why? Weren't you just twelve months ago saying "thank God 2009" is over and 2010 is going to be an amazing year? Why? Let's analyze that for a second. Doesn't every year bring opportunity for renewal and growth? What is it about the fireworks at midnight the 31st of December that makes a person think "next year is going to be better?".

In the words of my eldest son when I was facing a personal milestone: "what's different about today than yesterday...you're still you". Very profound for a fourteen year old don't you think? A great way of putting things into perspective and allowed me to think he's right and it IS about mindset. It's about the choices I make, what I think, what I do...not about the actual calendar or time...it's how that time is spent.

In writing this blog, I'm also reminded of one of my best friends that actually did have "awful year" (because of deaths of people very close to him). Annually, he sends a letter to friends and family. In his newsletter he said he had considered giving it up. However, he dug deep and as much as his year didn't end the greatest, he was able to recollect other events throughout the year that were positive. It was a very eloquent letter and probably one of the best he's ever written. Gratitude shone through and showed that despite crises him and his family had endured, there were still positive things that made life worth living. As a friend, very grateful he was able to do it. This was a breakthrough for him and a very admirable quality in a person. No one said doing this would ever easy but with perseverance there's gratitude.

So, what's your "a-ha" moment? We all have to learn our "why". Underlying we all have a purpose, personal motivator and a why. Why do we wake up every morning and do the same mundane things? Are we happy? I mean are we truly happy or just putting on a brave face? Instead of looking at yourself five, ten years or so from now...where do you see yourself to be next year, at midnight on the 31st of December? If you see yourself repeating "Thank God 2011 is over" then really, things really need to change NOW and old habits need to be broken.

We all deserve every happiness afforded to us and the only people capable of truly offering this to ourselves....is within ourselves. When we look in the mirror, we all must love the reflection looking back because as we have self-love and have gratitude, only then can we truly shine and pass this onto others. Love yourself first. This is not being an egomaniac. Self-appreciation, exude confidence will radiate from you and you'll automatically attract positive people. People will notice the difference in you. Some may judge and criticize but why let them take that power and your happiness away that you're entitled to? It's your power to have.

I will finish the last post of 2010 on this note: my desire for you, if this post has touched you in any way, that you'll say the following words instead, on the 31st of December at midnight:
"What an amazing 2011 and can't wait for 2012 to be another amazingly great year".

Measurement of Success

Success...... what is your definition? Everyone's measurement of success is different whether it's how well children advance at school, financial success, material things, social "status", etc. What defines you?

Sometimes in relationships and friendships people come to crossroads. What one person may perceive is success may not necessarily be agreed on by other people. What do you do?

In learning motivational skills and to obtain success, people are taught to do "vision boards". If you have not done one, you really should. It's amazing how, when you're sitting down to analyze your "wants" it helps you get a clear perspective of your vision. It allows you to keep on track and even when you're away from it, can visualize your board. Now this vision board is a personal thing and one really should keep it private.

In going back to my second paragraph, what if another party sees your vision board? In remembering it's very personal to you, people won't agree with your vision or what they see because they have different visions themselves. What if, in the interim, that party sees something is "missing" and they're very close to you? Is it ok to be offended? Should that person make a comment or just be respectful and keep silent?

A lesson learned along time ago was that it's not about "intention" but realistically in our society, it's all about "perception". I've asked this question to a few people...."what would they do if they saw a vision board and they weren't part of it?". One response was "vision boards are something the person doesn't have and are visualizing things that are missing from their lives....whether material or otherwise.. They're not going to post something they already have." Great comment and suppose it could be summed up that way. However, I don't agree because that's not how I did mine. Again, different perspectives, different opinions. (At the end of this blog, I'm happy to share a bit of insight into my vision board.)

However, out of respect for friends and loved ones, perhaps best to keep the visual board private. It is so easy for people to be offended and also, people can be naysayers and/or try to alter you from your focus. This is the opposite of achieving your goals. You don't want this to happen and sometimes people need to realize that things aren't necessarily all about them. Even people with good intentions can "slip up" and harbour bad feelings and perhaps unintentionally say or do things that are hurtful. It comes with being a human being.

So a measurement of success, in my opinion, should really be about balance: family first, business, financial wealth, philanthropy, good health and friends. Material things are great to have and enjoy but remember; can't take them with us when it's our time to go and they're not what define us.

When it is my time to go, I'd rather be surrounded by great friends and family to say "what a great person she was, what a thoughtful person and great Realtor she was; what a charitable person she was and did so much for the community"....not what the size of my bank account was or "wow, she had a great BMW".

Happy to share a bit about my vision board....it has things I already have but because I want it to continue....it has a lot of happy, smiling people reflecting myself, family, friends, business associates that are in my circle and interact with me all the time. Only positive people with a great outlook. Why? This is the energy that drives me, fuels me and everything else I have on my vision board will come true and happen. I can close my eyes and visualize my own personal successes that I want to achieve and how I will reward myself each time. At the end of the day though, if I don't have my family there with me to share it with? Nothing I ever do would mean a thing. This is where the balance and perspective comes in.

Thanks for viewing! As always, have a great day and remember to "Empower yourself and inspire change in others"

Dec. 6 – Canada's National Day of Remembrance & Action on Violence Against Women

Dec. 6 – Canada's National Day of Remembrance & Action on Violence Against Women

December 6 is the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence against Women. On this day we remember and mourn the loss of 14 women, murdered at Montréal's École Polytechnique, murdered because they were women. Please check your local areas for events.

More than 20 years after the tragic events in Montreal, violence against women continues to be a serious issue in Canada.

On Dec. 6, 1989, a deranged gunman entered L’Ecole Polytechnique in Montreal. He segregated the female students from the male students and began firing at the female engineering students.

On that day, 14 young women lost their lives to violence. The event has become known as the Montreal Massacre and is symbolic of the fight to end violence against women. In 1991, Canada’s Parliament declared December 6th a National Day of Mourning and the National Day to End Violence Against Women.

The facts:

Violence against women continues to be a serious issue in Canada:
•It is estimated that 60% of Canadian women have suffered from physical or psychological violence at some time in their life.


•In 2007, nearly 40,200 incidents of spousal violence were reported to police. This represents about 12% of all police-reported violent crime in Canada.


•Between April 1, 2007 and March 31, 2008, approximately 101,000 women and children were admitted to 569 shelters in Canada.

We remember the 14 lives lost. And there are other numbers to remember:

•Every minute of every day, a woman or child is being sexually assaulted in Canada•Homicide is the Number 1 killer of women in the workplace


•Homicide of women by firearm has shrunk since gun control - from 144 in 1989 to 33 in 2006


•582 missing and murdered Aboriginal women (and counting)


•Women with disabilities are 1.5 to 10 times as likely to be abused as non-disabled women, depending on whether they live in the community or in institutions.


•Each week, 1 to 2 women are murdered by a current or former partner


•Up to 360,000 children in Canada are exposed to domestic violence every year


•Physical and sexual abuse costs Canada over $4 billion each year


We make a difference when we speak out against bullying, harassment and discrimination of any kind.

We make a difference when unions raise the issue of violence at the bargaining table, or advocate for effective workplace violence legislation.

We make a difference when we raise strong, compassionate children.

We make a difference when we fight for women's equality and economic security.



Here are 14 actions you can take to help end violence against women:


1.Learn to recognize the signs of violence.


2.Don’t remain silent. If you suspect that a woman close to you is being abused or has been sexually assaulted, gently ask if you can help.


3.Speak out against harassment, bullying and violence in your workplace.


4.Get training in violence prevention.


5.Be an ally to women and organizations who are working to end all forms of gender violence.


If happening in the workplace and Unionized, work with your union to:


1.Make sure your employer keeps information on shelters and supports for women experiencing violence readily available.


2.Negotiate a workplace violence prevention program which includes psychological harassment into your collective agreement.


3.Review your workplace violence program every December 6th.


4.If you live in a jurisdiction with Workplace Violence legislation, make sure your employer is in compliance. If you don't, advocate for legislation requiring employers to develop policies and programs to help prevent workplace violence and harassment, as well as take precautions to protect workers from domestic violence in the workplace.


Have the courage to look inward and work to:


1.Question your own attitudes and actions and work towards changing them.


2.Recognize and speak out against racism, homophobia and other forms of discrimination.


3.Raise non-violent children. Help them find non-violent ways of resolving conflict. Lead by example.


4.Help the girls in your life develop confidence and strong self-esteem.

5.Encourage people who commit violence to seek counselling and support.

 

Thanks for viewing! As always, have a great day and remember to "Empower yourself and inspire change in others"

Hey Landlords, This Will Encourage You to Want That Multiplex

As you may or may not know, I am an advocate for women and children exercising their rights and opportunities to get ahead. I would like to explain this as I applaud the work that MPP Cheri DiNovo of Parkdale-Highpark does on their rights as well. Most especially because of her very humble and raw beginnings. Recently though, Cheri DiNovo, a female, NDP member of Parliament has done something that has totally struck a nerve.

She was a business owner and though her very private situation happened, it's not the case of everyone ** Perhaps she's taking things too far with a new Reading of a Bill to Parliament that just seemed to "slip by"

Landlords, as if things weren't tough already, read the Bill that somehow got under the radar: Bill 112, Residential Tenancies Amendment Act (Tenants' Rights), 2010

HTML Version

Here's the PDF

On September 16th: Cheri held a press conference at Queen’s Park calling for better tenants rights. Cheri is taking action on the bed bug issue by tabling a Private Member’s Bill calling for landlord licensing. On the panel were Kenn Hale from Advocacy Centre for Tenants Ontario (ACTO), Edward Lantz from Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now (ACORN) and Carolyn Peters, a rental agent who was told that she had to show apartments that were known to be infested with bedbugs. The Bill also calls for real rent control, extending protection to more tenants and improving access to justice for tenants.

Is the same woman that said in a National Post Interview back in May:

"We're politicians, we're important. We make these laws for other people, who aren't so important." *source below


An outspoken critic of The Municipal Property Assessment Corporation (MPAC) and the Ontario Municipal Board (OMB), Cheri has called for more affordable housing and action. Thankfully, she also calls for making amendments to the Residential Tenancies Act. Here are some of the following:

214.1 (1) No landlord shall enter into a tenancy agreement with respect to a rental unit in a residential complex containing six or more rental units on or after the day section 22 of the Residential Tenancies Amendment Act (Tenants’ Rights), 2010 comes into force unless the landlord has obtained a licence in accordance with this Part and the regulations.

(2) No landlord shall renew a tenancy agreement with respect to a rental unit in a residential complex containing six or more rental units that was entered into before the day section 22 of the Residential Tenancies Amendment Act (Tenants’ Rights), 2010 comes into force unless the landlord has obtained a licence in accordance with this Part and the regulations.

Now, I agree bedbugs have become a problem (and I would also say because certain things have been banned so we're not able to eliminate them). So be advised they're also stipulating that they will not renew your license:

5) The Board shall not issue a licence to a landlord who, at the time of application, (a) has not complied with one or more of the terms set out in a work order given to the landlord under section 225 if the time period for compliance with the terms of the work order has expired; (b) has not complied with one or more of the terms and conditions of an order served on the landlord under section 15.2 of the Building Code Act, 1992 if the time period for compliance with the terms and conditions of the order has expired; or (c) is party to a tenancy agreement with respect to a rental unit that is, in the opinion of the Board and subject to the regulations, infested with bedbugs, cockroaches or other vermin, regardless of whether the presence of such vermin is the subject of an order under this or any other Act, if the landlord has not, in the opinion of the Board and subject to the regulations, made sufficient attempts to eliminate the vermin from the rental unit.Refusal to issue licence (

5) Subject to the regulations, if the Board intends to refuse to issue a licence to a landlord under subsection

(6), the Board shall give notice to the landlord of its intention to refuse and the landlord shall have an opportunity to make submissions to the Board.Renewal of licence 

(7) A licence issued under this Part expires two years after the date of issue.

TO BREAK IT DOWN, HERE'S THE EXPLANATORY NOTE THEY PROVIDE:

The Bill makes several amendments to the Residential Tenancies Act, 2006, including the following: 

1. The Bill increases the time limit for most tenant and some landlord applications to the Landlord and Tenant Board from one to two years. 

2. The Bill requires a landlord who terminates a tenancy for personal use to compensate the tenant and expands the circumstances in which a landlord is required to compensate a tenant if the landlord terminates a tenancy for the purpose of demolition or conversion to non-residential use. 

3. The Bill prohibits a landlord from increasing the rent charged to a new tenant by more than the guideline and abolishes landlord applications to the Board for above guideline rent increases where there has been a significant increase in the cost of utilities. 

4. The Bill requires that the Board dismiss an application from a landlord who has been given a work order under section 225 of the Act or an order under section 15.2 of the Building Code Act, 1992 and has not completed the items in the work order or the order. 

5. The Bill requires a landlord to obtain a licence with respect to a rental unit in a residential complex containing six or more rental units in order to enter into a tenancy agreement or renew an existing tenancy agreement.

I agree there are some irresponsible Landlords out there but there are quite a few of us that are VERY responsible. To bring in rent control when costs to Landlords are already inundate with high costs would not bring in affordable housing and would do the total opposite if we have to spend more. We have the implementation of HST, rising taxes, assessments, utilities, etc


To Contact Your Local MPP, click here: 

National Post Quote Source:
* http://network.nationalpost.com/NP/blogs/fullcomment/archive/2010/05/20/new-bicycling-law.aspx

** humble beginnings source: http://www.upwithwomen.com/Cheri.htm

How To Be A Good Wife: Then (1950's) And Now (2010)

HOW TO BE A GOOD WIFE: Then: 1950's and Now 2010 

The following is supposedly an excerpt from a 1950's high school home-economics textbook:

• •  Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal -- on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.
  • Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so that you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.  
  • Clear away the clutter: Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too.  
  • Prepare the children: take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.  
  • Minimize all noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.  
  • Some don'ts: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day. Make him comfortable. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.
  • Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.
  • Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.
  • The goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

Now: 2010 (Shannon's Version)

Have dinner ready: if possible, put whatever you can into the crock pot and have it on simmer so it's ready when you both get home from a long day of work. If possible, have the kids have the dinner table set and away you go to have a nice dinner! If they're old enough to make it and home before you are, even better! They have to learn how to cook sometime for when they're going to leave the house. If not, what's on the takeout/delivery menu OR if hubby is home first, ask what he's cooking.

Prepare yourself: you've had a long hard day at work or scheduling play dates, etc with the kids. Take at least 15 minutes to yourself if hubby's home and let him have the opportunity of catching up with the kids while you gather your thoughts and have some "me" time. If you can't have quiet time at home, just excuse yourself, go grab a Timmy's or Starbucks tea, juice or coffee and take a quick drive to a park or waterfront. Have a meditation CD playing quietly or just enjoy the silence.

Clear Away The Clutter: ah, everyone should take care of themselves. If they put it there, they can clean it up too. You're not a maid and they all have to learn responsibility and cleaning up! Make a chore list and have everyone scheduled to do certain chores. If you can afford it, hire a maid and you're helping to support another person and their business while they help make your life easier.

Minimize all noise: Ask Johnny to turn down the ear buds that is blaring his music and probably destroying his ear drums. Otherwise, everyone should run up to you (or dad) when you come home. If there's music on in the background, dance and say "oh yeah, let's celebrate - I'm home!" If hubby's home, great! If hubby's not home, great! Enjoy that one on one time with the kids or, just take that moment again for yourself.

Listen to him: well, if he's only going to grunt a few words when he comes home, then it won't take long. If you have to, grab a glass of wine so you can swish it in your mouth and preoccupy your mind

Make The Evening His: Go out with the girls for a "girl's night" or lock yourself in your bathroom with wine, candles, a good book and bubbles. I'm sure he can find something of his own to do. Get him the new "Maxim" or tell him the remote is all his for the night.

The Goal: to get through the fast paces that life has to offer on a daily basis with as much sanity as you can....all the while feeling a sense of accomplishment, purpose and hopefully hearing the words "thanks", "I love you mom", "I love you honey" and "you're the best"...even if you have to pat yourself sometimes. Everyone else will come around.

Thanks for viewing! As always, have a great day and remember to "Empower yourself and inspire change in others"