Final Post 2010

As I've been agonizing what my final post for 2010 would be (why, I have no clue why it would be "stressful" but did want my final thought to be "perfect"). There's no such thing as a "perfect" blog post as one is noting his/her own thoughts so unless posting something offensive, really there are no mistakes. However, I should warn you that this is not my usually light-hearted, positive post and going to be extremely blunt and to the point. One may call it an intervention if you will. The "why" is that it's time to implement change and going to be very direct and time for self exploration.

By now, everyone is posting well wishes and happiness. I want to repeat that I usually post about being positive, inspirational and being motivated. The repeated warning is that the intent is not to offend or for anyone to think "who the heck does she think she is". The words expressed here apply to all of us. For a moment, let's think about the glass being "half full" instead of looking at the glass "half empty".

Are you saying "thank God 2010" is over? Why? Weren't you just twelve months ago saying "thank God 2009" is over and 2010 is going to be an amazing year? Why? Let's analyze that for a second. Doesn't every year bring opportunity for renewal and growth? What is it about the fireworks at midnight the 31st of December that makes a person think "next year is going to be better?".

In the words of my eldest son when I was facing a personal milestone: "what's different about today than yesterday...you're still you". Very profound for a fourteen year old don't you think? A great way of putting things into perspective and allowed me to think he's right and it IS about mindset. It's about the choices I make, what I think, what I do...not about the actual calendar or time...it's how that time is spent.

In writing this blog, I'm also reminded of one of my best friends that actually did have "awful year" (because of deaths of people very close to him). Annually, he sends a letter to friends and family. In his newsletter he said he had considered giving it up. However, he dug deep and as much as his year didn't end the greatest, he was able to recollect other events throughout the year that were positive. It was a very eloquent letter and probably one of the best he's ever written. Gratitude shone through and showed that despite crises him and his family had endured, there were still positive things that made life worth living. As a friend, very grateful he was able to do it. This was a breakthrough for him and a very admirable quality in a person. No one said doing this would ever easy but with perseverance there's gratitude.

So, what's your "a-ha" moment? We all have to learn our "why". Underlying we all have a purpose, personal motivator and a why. Why do we wake up every morning and do the same mundane things? Are we happy? I mean are we truly happy or just putting on a brave face? Instead of looking at yourself five, ten years or so from now...where do you see yourself to be next year, at midnight on the 31st of December? If you see yourself repeating "Thank God 2011 is over" then really, things really need to change NOW and old habits need to be broken.

We all deserve every happiness afforded to us and the only people capable of truly offering this to ourselves....is within ourselves. When we look in the mirror, we all must love the reflection looking back because as we have self-love and have gratitude, only then can we truly shine and pass this onto others. Love yourself first. This is not being an egomaniac. Self-appreciation, exude confidence will radiate from you and you'll automatically attract positive people. People will notice the difference in you. Some may judge and criticize but why let them take that power and your happiness away that you're entitled to? It's your power to have.

I will finish the last post of 2010 on this note: my desire for you, if this post has touched you in any way, that you'll say the following words instead, on the 31st of December at midnight:
"What an amazing 2011 and can't wait for 2012 to be another amazingly great year".

Measurement of Success

Success...... what is your definition? Everyone's measurement of success is different whether it's how well children advance at school, financial success, material things, social "status", etc. What defines you?

Sometimes in relationships and friendships people come to crossroads. What one person may perceive is success may not necessarily be agreed on by other people. What do you do?

In learning motivational skills and to obtain success, people are taught to do "vision boards". If you have not done one, you really should. It's amazing how, when you're sitting down to analyze your "wants" it helps you get a clear perspective of your vision. It allows you to keep on track and even when you're away from it, can visualize your board. Now this vision board is a personal thing and one really should keep it private.

In going back to my second paragraph, what if another party sees your vision board? In remembering it's very personal to you, people won't agree with your vision or what they see because they have different visions themselves. What if, in the interim, that party sees something is "missing" and they're very close to you? Is it ok to be offended? Should that person make a comment or just be respectful and keep silent?

A lesson learned along time ago was that it's not about "intention" but realistically in our society, it's all about "perception". I've asked this question to a few people...."what would they do if they saw a vision board and they weren't part of it?". One response was "vision boards are something the person doesn't have and are visualizing things that are missing from their lives....whether material or otherwise.. They're not going to post something they already have." Great comment and suppose it could be summed up that way. However, I don't agree because that's not how I did mine. Again, different perspectives, different opinions. (At the end of this blog, I'm happy to share a bit of insight into my vision board.)

However, out of respect for friends and loved ones, perhaps best to keep the visual board private. It is so easy for people to be offended and also, people can be naysayers and/or try to alter you from your focus. This is the opposite of achieving your goals. You don't want this to happen and sometimes people need to realize that things aren't necessarily all about them. Even people with good intentions can "slip up" and harbour bad feelings and perhaps unintentionally say or do things that are hurtful. It comes with being a human being.

So a measurement of success, in my opinion, should really be about balance: family first, business, financial wealth, philanthropy, good health and friends. Material things are great to have and enjoy but remember; can't take them with us when it's our time to go and they're not what define us.

When it is my time to go, I'd rather be surrounded by great friends and family to say "what a great person she was, what a thoughtful person and great Realtor she was; what a charitable person she was and did so much for the community"....not what the size of my bank account was or "wow, she had a great BMW".

Happy to share a bit about my vision board....it has things I already have but because I want it to continue....it has a lot of happy, smiling people reflecting myself, family, friends, business associates that are in my circle and interact with me all the time. Only positive people with a great outlook. Why? This is the energy that drives me, fuels me and everything else I have on my vision board will come true and happen. I can close my eyes and visualize my own personal successes that I want to achieve and how I will reward myself each time. At the end of the day though, if I don't have my family there with me to share it with? Nothing I ever do would mean a thing. This is where the balance and perspective comes in.

Thanks for viewing! As always, have a great day and remember to "Empower yourself and inspire change in others"

Dec. 6 – Canada's National Day of Remembrance & Action on Violence Against Women

Dec. 6 – Canada's National Day of Remembrance & Action on Violence Against Women

December 6 is the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence against Women. On this day we remember and mourn the loss of 14 women, murdered at Montréal's École Polytechnique, murdered because they were women. Please check your local areas for events.

More than 20 years after the tragic events in Montreal, violence against women continues to be a serious issue in Canada.

On Dec. 6, 1989, a deranged gunman entered L’Ecole Polytechnique in Montreal. He segregated the female students from the male students and began firing at the female engineering students.

On that day, 14 young women lost their lives to violence. The event has become known as the Montreal Massacre and is symbolic of the fight to end violence against women. In 1991, Canada’s Parliament declared December 6th a National Day of Mourning and the National Day to End Violence Against Women.

The facts:

Violence against women continues to be a serious issue in Canada:
•It is estimated that 60% of Canadian women have suffered from physical or psychological violence at some time in their life.


•In 2007, nearly 40,200 incidents of spousal violence were reported to police. This represents about 12% of all police-reported violent crime in Canada.


•Between April 1, 2007 and March 31, 2008, approximately 101,000 women and children were admitted to 569 shelters in Canada.

We remember the 14 lives lost. And there are other numbers to remember:

•Every minute of every day, a woman or child is being sexually assaulted in Canada•Homicide is the Number 1 killer of women in the workplace


•Homicide of women by firearm has shrunk since gun control - from 144 in 1989 to 33 in 2006


•582 missing and murdered Aboriginal women (and counting)


•Women with disabilities are 1.5 to 10 times as likely to be abused as non-disabled women, depending on whether they live in the community or in institutions.


•Each week, 1 to 2 women are murdered by a current or former partner


•Up to 360,000 children in Canada are exposed to domestic violence every year


•Physical and sexual abuse costs Canada over $4 billion each year


We make a difference when we speak out against bullying, harassment and discrimination of any kind.

We make a difference when unions raise the issue of violence at the bargaining table, or advocate for effective workplace violence legislation.

We make a difference when we raise strong, compassionate children.

We make a difference when we fight for women's equality and economic security.



Here are 14 actions you can take to help end violence against women:


1.Learn to recognize the signs of violence.


2.Don’t remain silent. If you suspect that a woman close to you is being abused or has been sexually assaulted, gently ask if you can help.


3.Speak out against harassment, bullying and violence in your workplace.


4.Get training in violence prevention.


5.Be an ally to women and organizations who are working to end all forms of gender violence.


If happening in the workplace and Unionized, work with your union to:


1.Make sure your employer keeps information on shelters and supports for women experiencing violence readily available.


2.Negotiate a workplace violence prevention program which includes psychological harassment into your collective agreement.


3.Review your workplace violence program every December 6th.


4.If you live in a jurisdiction with Workplace Violence legislation, make sure your employer is in compliance. If you don't, advocate for legislation requiring employers to develop policies and programs to help prevent workplace violence and harassment, as well as take precautions to protect workers from domestic violence in the workplace.


Have the courage to look inward and work to:


1.Question your own attitudes and actions and work towards changing them.


2.Recognize and speak out against racism, homophobia and other forms of discrimination.


3.Raise non-violent children. Help them find non-violent ways of resolving conflict. Lead by example.


4.Help the girls in your life develop confidence and strong self-esteem.

5.Encourage people who commit violence to seek counselling and support.

 

Thanks for viewing! As always, have a great day and remember to "Empower yourself and inspire change in others"

Hey Landlords, This Will Encourage You to Want That Multiplex

As you may or may not know, I am an advocate for women and children exercising their rights and opportunities to get ahead. I would like to explain this as I applaud the work that MPP Cheri DiNovo of Parkdale-Highpark does on their rights as well. Most especially because of her very humble and raw beginnings. Recently though, Cheri DiNovo, a female, NDP member of Parliament has done something that has totally struck a nerve.

She was a business owner and though her very private situation happened, it's not the case of everyone ** Perhaps she's taking things too far with a new Reading of a Bill to Parliament that just seemed to "slip by"

Landlords, as if things weren't tough already, read the Bill that somehow got under the radar: Bill 112, Residential Tenancies Amendment Act (Tenants' Rights), 2010

HTML Version

Here's the PDF

On September 16th: Cheri held a press conference at Queen’s Park calling for better tenants rights. Cheri is taking action on the bed bug issue by tabling a Private Member’s Bill calling for landlord licensing. On the panel were Kenn Hale from Advocacy Centre for Tenants Ontario (ACTO), Edward Lantz from Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now (ACORN) and Carolyn Peters, a rental agent who was told that she had to show apartments that were known to be infested with bedbugs. The Bill also calls for real rent control, extending protection to more tenants and improving access to justice for tenants.

Is the same woman that said in a National Post Interview back in May:

"We're politicians, we're important. We make these laws for other people, who aren't so important." *source below


An outspoken critic of The Municipal Property Assessment Corporation (MPAC) and the Ontario Municipal Board (OMB), Cheri has called for more affordable housing and action. Thankfully, she also calls for making amendments to the Residential Tenancies Act. Here are some of the following:

214.1 (1) No landlord shall enter into a tenancy agreement with respect to a rental unit in a residential complex containing six or more rental units on or after the day section 22 of the Residential Tenancies Amendment Act (Tenants’ Rights), 2010 comes into force unless the landlord has obtained a licence in accordance with this Part and the regulations.

(2) No landlord shall renew a tenancy agreement with respect to a rental unit in a residential complex containing six or more rental units that was entered into before the day section 22 of the Residential Tenancies Amendment Act (Tenants’ Rights), 2010 comes into force unless the landlord has obtained a licence in accordance with this Part and the regulations.

Now, I agree bedbugs have become a problem (and I would also say because certain things have been banned so we're not able to eliminate them). So be advised they're also stipulating that they will not renew your license:

5) The Board shall not issue a licence to a landlord who, at the time of application, (a) has not complied with one or more of the terms set out in a work order given to the landlord under section 225 if the time period for compliance with the terms of the work order has expired; (b) has not complied with one or more of the terms and conditions of an order served on the landlord under section 15.2 of the Building Code Act, 1992 if the time period for compliance with the terms and conditions of the order has expired; or (c) is party to a tenancy agreement with respect to a rental unit that is, in the opinion of the Board and subject to the regulations, infested with bedbugs, cockroaches or other vermin, regardless of whether the presence of such vermin is the subject of an order under this or any other Act, if the landlord has not, in the opinion of the Board and subject to the regulations, made sufficient attempts to eliminate the vermin from the rental unit.Refusal to issue licence (

5) Subject to the regulations, if the Board intends to refuse to issue a licence to a landlord under subsection

(6), the Board shall give notice to the landlord of its intention to refuse and the landlord shall have an opportunity to make submissions to the Board.Renewal of licence 

(7) A licence issued under this Part expires two years after the date of issue.

TO BREAK IT DOWN, HERE'S THE EXPLANATORY NOTE THEY PROVIDE:

The Bill makes several amendments to the Residential Tenancies Act, 2006, including the following: 

1. The Bill increases the time limit for most tenant and some landlord applications to the Landlord and Tenant Board from one to two years. 

2. The Bill requires a landlord who terminates a tenancy for personal use to compensate the tenant and expands the circumstances in which a landlord is required to compensate a tenant if the landlord terminates a tenancy for the purpose of demolition or conversion to non-residential use. 

3. The Bill prohibits a landlord from increasing the rent charged to a new tenant by more than the guideline and abolishes landlord applications to the Board for above guideline rent increases where there has been a significant increase in the cost of utilities. 

4. The Bill requires that the Board dismiss an application from a landlord who has been given a work order under section 225 of the Act or an order under section 15.2 of the Building Code Act, 1992 and has not completed the items in the work order or the order. 

5. The Bill requires a landlord to obtain a licence with respect to a rental unit in a residential complex containing six or more rental units in order to enter into a tenancy agreement or renew an existing tenancy agreement.

I agree there are some irresponsible Landlords out there but there are quite a few of us that are VERY responsible. To bring in rent control when costs to Landlords are already inundate with high costs would not bring in affordable housing and would do the total opposite if we have to spend more. We have the implementation of HST, rising taxes, assessments, utilities, etc


To Contact Your Local MPP, click here: 

National Post Quote Source:
* http://network.nationalpost.com/NP/blogs/fullcomment/archive/2010/05/20/new-bicycling-law.aspx

** humble beginnings source: http://www.upwithwomen.com/Cheri.htm

How To Be A Good Wife: Then (1950's) And Now (2010)

HOW TO BE A GOOD WIFE: Then: 1950's and Now 2010 

The following is supposedly an excerpt from a 1950's high school home-economics textbook:

• •  Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal -- on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.
  • Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so that you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.  
  • Clear away the clutter: Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too.  
  • Prepare the children: take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.  
  • Minimize all noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.  
  • Some don'ts: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day. Make him comfortable. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.
  • Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.
  • Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.
  • The goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

Now: 2010 (Shannon's Version)

Have dinner ready: if possible, put whatever you can into the crock pot and have it on simmer so it's ready when you both get home from a long day of work. If possible, have the kids have the dinner table set and away you go to have a nice dinner! If they're old enough to make it and home before you are, even better! They have to learn how to cook sometime for when they're going to leave the house. If not, what's on the takeout/delivery menu OR if hubby is home first, ask what he's cooking.

Prepare yourself: you've had a long hard day at work or scheduling play dates, etc with the kids. Take at least 15 minutes to yourself if hubby's home and let him have the opportunity of catching up with the kids while you gather your thoughts and have some "me" time. If you can't have quiet time at home, just excuse yourself, go grab a Timmy's or Starbucks tea, juice or coffee and take a quick drive to a park or waterfront. Have a meditation CD playing quietly or just enjoy the silence.

Clear Away The Clutter: ah, everyone should take care of themselves. If they put it there, they can clean it up too. You're not a maid and they all have to learn responsibility and cleaning up! Make a chore list and have everyone scheduled to do certain chores. If you can afford it, hire a maid and you're helping to support another person and their business while they help make your life easier.

Minimize all noise: Ask Johnny to turn down the ear buds that is blaring his music and probably destroying his ear drums. Otherwise, everyone should run up to you (or dad) when you come home. If there's music on in the background, dance and say "oh yeah, let's celebrate - I'm home!" If hubby's home, great! If hubby's not home, great! Enjoy that one on one time with the kids or, just take that moment again for yourself.

Listen to him: well, if he's only going to grunt a few words when he comes home, then it won't take long. If you have to, grab a glass of wine so you can swish it in your mouth and preoccupy your mind

Make The Evening His: Go out with the girls for a "girl's night" or lock yourself in your bathroom with wine, candles, a good book and bubbles. I'm sure he can find something of his own to do. Get him the new "Maxim" or tell him the remote is all his for the night.

The Goal: to get through the fast paces that life has to offer on a daily basis with as much sanity as you can....all the while feeling a sense of accomplishment, purpose and hopefully hearing the words "thanks", "I love you mom", "I love you honey" and "you're the best"...even if you have to pat yourself sometimes. Everyone else will come around.

Thanks for viewing! As always, have a great day and remember to "Empower yourself and inspire change in others"

Narrow-Minded Thinking and Power of the Internet

Narrow-Minded Thinking and Power of the Internet

Well I guess this "small-time" girl with big ambition and drive had a wake-up call this morning. It's funny how one can think about things that they THINK they're going to blog about and then in one instant whether an action, call or thought can change all this.

In keeping with my "empowerment" I originally wanted to write to you about my nutrition plan and what steps I took to get into being a healthier me and that it wasn't about the "d" word (diet) but a chosen lifestyle. I think I will save this thought for another day.

Why? Because something "bigger than life" happened to me and I had an epiphany. I was asking myself "why blog?" Do I even have an audience or am I just typing words into thin air and what would make anyone in the world want to read my blogs over hundreds upon thousands others. What do I bring to the table? I'm just one person in this City just North of Toronto, Ontario, Canada. So out of curiosity I checked stats which I had never done before. I was amazed. To the readers that hail from my home Country of Canada that have freedoms, I thank you. For those that are reading from Italy, Australia, United Kingdom, Alaska, US, Poland, India, Ukraine, Russia and Philippines, a HUGE thank you and I hope that across the miles, you are finding some enlightenment, hope, humour and support from reading this.

So in knowing this, I feel a sense of responsibility and honoured with the opportunity of offering support and showing that everyone has the right to be free; a right to be empowered and know that whatever situation you're in there's hope. That no matter what challenges you face every day that the same patterns do not have to be repeated and no one ever has the power to tell you how to think because you are the only one responsible for your thoughts. For anyone reading this that is facing abuse whether physical or verbal or living in a Country where women are not treated as "persons" or facing persecution for even "looking at a man" and accusations of being unfaithful, I pray for you.

For those people that offer hope and support for these women and it sometimes feels like a "thankless" job (or volunteer work), keep on making a difference. For those that put their lives in danger to help people, thanks for making a difference. This world must be made a better place and we all need to reach out to each other whether in word or other actions, we have to make a difference. No one, whether female or male, should ever feel they're worthless or inferior. We truly need to watch our words and keep negative thoughts out of our minds and hearts and speak words of encouragement, love and support. We must always "pay it forward" and even if it doesn't feel like what we're saying or doing isn't making a difference, we have to believe IT IS touching the lives of at least one person.

I am truly honoured and humbled and no longer shall I be "narrow-minded" and think I'm writing in a cocoon. I trust these words find you well. Continue to look for strength and you can make any changes. Put yourself first. In the words of MJ and friends: "We are the world, we are the children; We are the ones who make a brighter day so lets start giving. There's a choice we're making, we're saving our own lives, its true we'll make a better day....Just you and me"

Thanks for viewing! As always, have a great day and remember to "Empower yourself and inspire change in others"

Playing "Victim" and Who's Life Is It Anyway?

Playing "Victim" and Who's Life Is It Anyway?

People who play the victim game often point fingers at others as the responsible party for their situation that they're in now. How many times have we heard people say: "I'm so frustrated because...", "I never get a chance to...", "I am unhappy because...", "I can't have this because...",  "Can you believe he did this to me? What a jerk. Now I can't..." "Can you believe she said that? What a b*. Now I can't..." " Ugh, my life sucks." or "I don't have a life."  

But we do have a life, we do have many opportunities and chances to make a difference...not only in our own life but also the ability to impact others.  This can be a positive influence or bad, but that depends on us. We all have the same amount of time given to us in a day and it's what we do (or don't do) within that time that makes a difference. Life truly is what we make it.

In our every day conversations we can sabotage ourselves. It's unfortunate that it has become "common" for such comments  to be made and almost acceptable to blame others for not getting what they want and always complaining. Are we not responsible for our own opportunities (whether we take them or not), happiness, health, wealth and everything in our life? Isn't it our life and aren't things within our control? Haven't our parents taught us to be responsible and take accountability of our actions? Weren't we taught as children to face the consequences of our actions whether we did something bad? Weren't we rewarded when we did something really great? So if we're sitting back and blaming others for what is within our control then one isn't taking responsibility...just "passing the buck". Choices lie within ourselves and in essence, we truly can (and do) create our own destiny.


How many times have we said to ourselves: "I will be happy when... " (finish that sentence...whether new shoes, clothing, vacation, big house, expensive car, husband, wife, etc.), then we are looking at the glass as being "half empty" and cheating ourselves out of the wonderful things that we do have and all the wonderful things we have accomplished so far. Why cheat ourselves from that celebration? Isn't this what life is about? 

At a younger age I was taught that life is a gift. Nothing is promised to us but it is up to me to be appreciative and grateful for every morning that I have and the gift of breathing another day.  If you do not appreciate the present, how do you know when to be grateful and happy when you have the things you wanted or "wished for", yet still thinking there's always more. We'd be like that dog chasing our tail wouldn't we?

This is kind of in line with my "Frog" post. Here are some tips:

• Be Clear on What You Want - write it down. It's private but create yourself a "vision" board. Whether on a Bristol board or download some photos and tuck away in a file on your computer, create the vision so you'll see it visually everyday.  Focus on it. Create that vision so it's embedded in your brain as you continue your daily tasks.
• Set Your Priorities - only you know what is important to you and only you can set those boundaries. Don't think of having "limitations" or you're setting yourself up to fail. Do something toward reaching your goal instead of nothing.
• Get A Mentor - sometimes communication is a key factor but be guarded because there will always be a "nay-sayer" and this person will influence you not to achieve your goal. Whether your choice or vision is spiritual, financial, family or health, find someone with a common interest who can 'mentor' you and be support that you need to help you with your clear vision.
• Write a Journal - keep track of your successes and "failures". There are going to be moments when that good ol' self doubt and sense of failure will set in. We do that self-talk all the time and come part of our daily routine that we can easily talk ourselves out of things and stop doing it. Create a journal of your emotions and focus on the positive and your rewards. Keeping your clear vision will help you "keep on, keeping on" so you don't talk yourself out of keeping your goal.
• "Just Do It". You have to develop a take action mindset that you "can" and "will". The responsibility for achieving what you want lies within yourself. Just thinking about how you want to do something isn't enough. Nothing is ever a sacrifice and some things may have to be re-routed or altered but in the end, if it's achieving YOUR goal, you have to go the distance and do what it takes to get there. Don't set yourself up for failure before you even start. Just do it or you will be in the same situation and could very easily just talk yourself out of it.

If you have children, when you're disciplining it's not because you want to harm them, it's for their own good of moral values and responsibility, right? Why? You want the best for them, right? Why not wanting the best for ourselves? If you think of it as "tough love" for yourself then you should remain focused on your dream. If at any point through your journey you say "you can't" then you're right because you've just given up and set yourself up for failure. 

Ever heard the saying "dream to achieve"... In order to do that you must stop the blame game, complaining, or making excuses about why you have not achieved what you want. Whenever you look in the mirror the person responsible for your life is the person looking back at you in the mirror.

If you're not going to take responsibility now for achieving what you want, when are you? There's never any "milestone" and the time for living your life is now. However, if that's what helps you set a goal so you have a time frame then set it, reach it and don't let anyone stand in your way. You'll be proud of yourself that you did! Remember, don't seek perfection and if you have to make "alterations" to your vision, keep looking at everything as successes. As long as you're on the path, keep persevering and you'll get there. Believe in yourself. We can be our own worst critics so starting with that changing that first mindset is definitely key. Perhaps it's fear of achieving your goal then you really need to sit down to at least half an hour of uninterrupted silence and evaluate what's important to you. Don't let self doubt set you up for failure before you start. YOU CAN DO IT.

Are You A Fighter?

Are You A Fighter?

The heading is not what you think. Not fighting in the arguing, physical sense but a fighter?
First of all, before I jump into my blog, it's not really going to be a daily thing. It will be when time permits and also when I feel that I have a relevant thought or point. Don't get me wrong, I have relevant thoughts all the time but sometimes not so much in the "sharing publicly" and posting kind of way.

My passion is empowerment and women's rights on all accounts. My common-law husband makes cracks (not in a mean-spirited way) about my feminism and for years I shied away from being called a feminist. I didn't feel that I was doing some "all women - girl power" extreme and didn't want to antagonize any men that I have a great friendship and collaboration with but when I explore the definition of the word it is about empowerment and women's strength. In that, there's no shame. Women exude strength and have to endure so much responsibility. Don't get me wrong as there are fabulous men out there who can be great partners and share this responsibility but in the end, you know it's the women that are the one's to wear all the hats: mother, nurse, taxi driver, cook, cleaner, teacher, wife, employee, business owner, and the list goes on. If a single mother and no support, that list just grows.

My questions are: balance - how do we find it? When do we crack? When do we havetime to crack? I guess this is up to the individual and truly is a time management thing. It is important to take time out of our day, even if for just two minutes to exhale and have a drink of your favourite beverage. So if you have to fight for that time, so-be-it!

Okay, I got off topic a little. The above kind of ties in but not the bulk of what carries my thoughts today. Am I fighter? In most cases, I pride myself on being that and would like to say yes. However, I have a confession. I have not lived up to my responsibilities or privileges. I am reminded by the video below just how much other women before me had to FIGHT for the right for equality to be called and regarded as a "person". They had to fight for the right to vote so that it would allow me the opportunities today to have a voice. If you can, minimize the video and listen to it as you carry on with other work. It's a really great listen.

How have I failed? I don't vote. I remember the excitement I felt at turning 18 and the right to vote. For years I faithfully did my duty only to see the politicians that were voted into office totally turn their backs on any campaign promises and what seemed to be self-fulfilling. I realize it's not possible to please every single person in the Municipality, Province or Country. (I'm sure that I will face criticism for my post but this is my personal opinion in which I am totally entitled to. I'm sure others may agree even when others may not.)

How do you choose? What do you do when you've lost faith in the people that don't do what they say they're going to do? People are people and there's human error or miscommunication. What if you know the person on a personal level and just can't get past their history or people they're associated with? There's some sort of lack of trust and you question what people's motivations are. Are they good intentioned and well-meaning? Do you befriend them anyway because "it's the political thing" to do and may need to call in "favours"? That's pretty shallow isn't it but also how the world runs right? Not what you know but who you know right? Why can we not change that? Do we just have to keep accepting it and shrug our shoulders in defeat that "that's just the way things are done"? Isn't your name your reputation? What do you want to put your name to? I'm glad I'm not American in the fact that I have to "register" and be a loyal and faithful Democrat or Republican. To be loyal to that no matter who the person is? At least we have a choice here in Canada in voting Liberal, Progressive Conservative, etc. (Ok, I don't exactly recall how US Politics works and would never profess to but I've seen many friends wear their Political stance and pride on their shoulders which has caused many an argument at parties if politics is discussed).

Sure, in some cases it's not the political person's fault when they have to have other members vote and agree but if the general population does not agree, why are "we, the people" not heard? Prime example? Look at the implementation of the HST and other things. Politics, in my opinion, is basically about who's the most popular and do people truly have our best interests at heart? I had the opportunity of working in Government and you had to shake so many hands, keep a smile on your face and be fake. I just couldn't do it. I wear my heart on my sleeve and though I'm not Simon Cowell, I have no problem expressing how I feel. (This is also another reason why sometimes I need to type and keep drafts instead of uploading the blogs right away..LOL).

So, the video below reminds me to be grateful. Women before us fought really hard. Should I still vote knowing how I feel? I don't want these women's actions to be in vain and know I need to be a fighter in all aspects of life. Other Countries are at war to have this right and fight to even have the opportunity or be heard!

I honestly don't know. This is a struggle that I will have to overcome but appreciate your comments and insight.

Thanks for viewing! As always, have a great day and remember to "Empower yourself and inspire change in others"

Question of Loyalty?

Question of Loyalty?

Good morning folks!

As I'm sitting here drinking my coffee, going over and replying to emails and returning calls I'm reflecting on what I can write on my blog today. If I were to write on my daily thoughts then this blog would be an hourly thing and not daily!

I was thinking to myself "what do I want today's thought to be"? Then it occurred to me as I wrapped up a phone call and read multiple emails from various mortgage brokers that send me newsletters and rate info so I'll be in their network of referrals, which one of these mortgage brokers would I use and be loyal to?

Loyalty: the state or quality of being loyal; faithfulness to commitments or obligations. 

Big word huh? "Failthfulness to commitments or obligations". Ok, we do that in our every day life, jobs, children, schedule, life. "Faithfulness", what about our partners in life? Ourselves? "Faith in ourselves" you're asking. Yes, ourselves. How many times have you said "I can't do that". You've lost faith in yourself and your desire to implement change, breaking old habits.
To our partners, there's so much deception and high divorce rates that it's almost become "acceptable". Everything takes work and unless it's abuse, why not try to work things out instead of being loyal and committed?

Business loyalty. Do commission-driven, career driven people lose their loyalty to colleagues and customers for the sake of getting ahead and making more money? Is that ok? In my opinion, no as it's unethical but you know it happens. The adage is "business is business" so apparently that's perfectly acceptable. Sure, that may happen one time but would you refer or ever use their business or that person again?

So it's a matter of perception and what I tell my children is that you get out of life what you put into it. I was told a long time ago by a very tough female american executive "Shannon, it doesn't matter what your intention is but what the perception of what people have about you". Well though people are going to conjur up whatever perceptions they have of you, you still have to be true to yourself. At the end of the day, you have to live with yourself and look in the mirror. It is just not possible to be everything to everyone and make them happy. It's just not. We're all made up differently with varying opinions so what one person may love about me, another person can absolutely detest.

So, loyalty. I'm loyal to myself and working in the utmost ethics I can. I'm loyal to my clients and customers because it's not just about the deal. My clients can attest to how I work. I'm loyal to my children and my life partner because I made that committment and strong in that character. When you make that firm committment, it makes life less stressful (at least I think) because there's no grey area. It's either wrong or right and no one has to backpaddle. If you know where your loyalties stand, and stand firm, no one can dispute that and then can hopefully say "wow, what an admirable trait". If someone doesn't understand, they're meant to be kept at arm's length because that's not the kind of person you'd want to be associated with or put your name to.

So for those mortgage brokers out there that just grab my email and send me stuff for the sake of creating their database, thanks for taking the initiative. In the end, I forward clients to Mortgage Consultants with whom I have a relationship with because my name is attached to them and I know how they work. It's about getting the best customer service and attention they deserve. It's not about me being #1, it's the clients.


Thanks for viewing! As always, have a great day and remember to "Empower yourself and inspire change in others"