Playing "Victim" and Who's Life Is It Anyway?
People who play the victim game often point fingers at others as the responsible party for their situation that they're in now. How many times have we heard people say: "I'm so frustrated because...", "I never get a chance to...", "I am unhappy because...", "I can't have this because...", "Can you believe he did this to me? What a jerk. Now I can't..." "Can you believe she said that? What a b*. Now I can't..." " Ugh, my life sucks." or "I don't have a life."
But we do have a life, we do have many opportunities and chances to make a difference...not only in our own life but also the ability to impact others. This can be a positive influence or bad, but that depends on us. We all have the same amount of time given to us in a day and it's what we do (or don't do) within that time that makes a difference. Life truly is what we make it.
In our every day conversations we can sabotage ourselves. It's unfortunate that it has become "common" for such comments to be made and almost acceptable to blame others for not getting what they want and always complaining. Are we not responsible for our own opportunities (whether we take them or not), happiness, health, wealth and everything in our life? Isn't it our life and aren't things within our control? Haven't our parents taught us to be responsible and take accountability of our actions? Weren't we taught as children to face the consequences of our actions whether we did something bad? Weren't we rewarded when we did something really great? So if we're sitting back and blaming others for what is within our control then one isn't taking responsibility...just "passing the buck". Choices lie within ourselves and in essence, we truly can (and do) create our own destiny.
How many times have we said to ourselves: "I will be happy when... " (finish that sentence...whether new shoes, clothing, vacation, big house, expensive car, husband, wife, etc.), then we are looking at the glass as being "half empty" and cheating ourselves out of the wonderful things that we do have and all the wonderful things we have accomplished so far. Why cheat ourselves from that celebration? Isn't this what life is about?
At a younger age I was taught that life is a gift. Nothing is promised to us but it is up to me to be appreciative and grateful for every morning that I have and the gift of breathing another day. If you do not appreciate the present, how do you know when to be grateful and happy when you have the things you wanted or "wished for", yet still thinking there's always more. We'd be like that dog chasing our tail wouldn't we?
This is kind of in line with my "Frog" post. Here are some tips:
If you have children, when you're disciplining it's not because you want to harm them, it's for their own good of moral values and responsibility, right? Why? You want the best for them, right? Why not wanting the best for ourselves? If you think of it as "tough love" for yourself then you should remain focused on your dream. If at any point through your journey you say "you can't" then you're right because you've just given up and set yourself up for failure.
Ever heard the saying "dream to achieve"... In order to do that you must stop the blame game, complaining, or making excuses about why you have not achieved what you want. Whenever you look in the mirror the person responsible for your life is the person looking back at you in the mirror.
If you're not going to take responsibility now for achieving what you want, when are you? There's never any "milestone" and the time for living your life is now. However, if that's what helps you set a goal so you have a time frame then set it, reach it and don't let anyone stand in your way. You'll be proud of yourself that you did! Remember, don't seek perfection and if you have to make "alterations" to your vision, keep looking at everything as successes. As long as you're on the path, keep persevering and you'll get there. Believe in yourself. We can be our own worst critics so starting with that changing that first mindset is definitely key. Perhaps it's fear of achieving your goal then you really need to sit down to at least half an hour of uninterrupted silence and evaluate what's important to you. Don't let self doubt set you up for failure before you start. YOU CAN DO IT.
But we do have a life, we do have many opportunities and chances to make a difference...not only in our own life but also the ability to impact others. This can be a positive influence or bad, but that depends on us. We all have the same amount of time given to us in a day and it's what we do (or don't do) within that time that makes a difference. Life truly is what we make it.
In our every day conversations we can sabotage ourselves. It's unfortunate that it has become "common" for such comments to be made and almost acceptable to blame others for not getting what they want and always complaining. Are we not responsible for our own opportunities (whether we take them or not), happiness, health, wealth and everything in our life? Isn't it our life and aren't things within our control? Haven't our parents taught us to be responsible and take accountability of our actions? Weren't we taught as children to face the consequences of our actions whether we did something bad? Weren't we rewarded when we did something really great? So if we're sitting back and blaming others for what is within our control then one isn't taking responsibility...just "passing the buck". Choices lie within ourselves and in essence, we truly can (and do) create our own destiny.
How many times have we said to ourselves: "I will be happy when... " (finish that sentence...whether new shoes, clothing, vacation, big house, expensive car, husband, wife, etc.), then we are looking at the glass as being "half empty" and cheating ourselves out of the wonderful things that we do have and all the wonderful things we have accomplished so far. Why cheat ourselves from that celebration? Isn't this what life is about?
At a younger age I was taught that life is a gift. Nothing is promised to us but it is up to me to be appreciative and grateful for every morning that I have and the gift of breathing another day. If you do not appreciate the present, how do you know when to be grateful and happy when you have the things you wanted or "wished for", yet still thinking there's always more. We'd be like that dog chasing our tail wouldn't we?
This is kind of in line with my "Frog" post. Here are some tips:
- Be Clear on What You Want - write it down. It's private but create yourself a "vision" board. Whether on a Bristol board or download some photos and tuck away in a file on your computer, create the vision so you'll see it visually everyday. Focus on it. Create that vision so it's embedded in your brain as you continue your daily tasks.
- Set Your Priorities - only you know what is important to you and only you can set those boundaries. Don't think of having "limitations" or you're setting yourself up to fail. Do something toward reaching your goal instead of nothing.
- Get A Mentor - sometimes communication is a key factor but be guarded because there will always be a "nay-sayer" and this person will influence you not to achieve your goal. Whether your choice or vision is spiritual, financial, family or health, find someone with a common interest who can 'mentor' you and be support that you need to help you with your clear vision.
- Write a Journal - keep track of your successes and "failures". There are going to be moments when that good ol' self doubt and sense of failure will set in. We do that self-talk all the time and come part of our daily routine that we can easily talk ourselves out of things and stop doing it. Create a journal of your emotions and focus on the positive and your rewards. Keeping your clear vision will help you "keep on, keeping on" so you don't talk yourself out of keeping your goal.
- "Just Do It". You have to develop a take action mindset that you "can" and "will". The responsibility for achieving what you want lies within yourself. Just thinking about how you want to do something isn't enough. Nothing is ever a sacrifice and some things may have to be re-routed or altered but in the end, if it's achieving YOUR goal, you have to go the distance and do what it takes to get there. Don't set yourself up for failure before you even start. Just do it or you will be in the same situation and could very easily just talk yourself out of it.
If you have children, when you're disciplining it's not because you want to harm them, it's for their own good of moral values and responsibility, right? Why? You want the best for them, right? Why not wanting the best for ourselves? If you think of it as "tough love" for yourself then you should remain focused on your dream. If at any point through your journey you say "you can't" then you're right because you've just given up and set yourself up for failure.
Ever heard the saying "dream to achieve"... In order to do that you must stop the blame game, complaining, or making excuses about why you have not achieved what you want. Whenever you look in the mirror the person responsible for your life is the person looking back at you in the mirror.
If you're not going to take responsibility now for achieving what you want, when are you? There's never any "milestone" and the time for living your life is now. However, if that's what helps you set a goal so you have a time frame then set it, reach it and don't let anyone stand in your way. You'll be proud of yourself that you did! Remember, don't seek perfection and if you have to make "alterations" to your vision, keep looking at everything as successes. As long as you're on the path, keep persevering and you'll get there. Believe in yourself. We can be our own worst critics so starting with that changing that first mindset is definitely key. Perhaps it's fear of achieving your goal then you really need to sit down to at least half an hour of uninterrupted silence and evaluate what's important to you. Don't let self doubt set you up for failure before you start. YOU CAN DO IT.
