Are You A Fighter?

Are You A Fighter?

The heading is not what you think. Not fighting in the arguing, physical sense but a fighter?
First of all, before I jump into my blog, it's not really going to be a daily thing. It will be when time permits and also when I feel that I have a relevant thought or point. Don't get me wrong, I have relevant thoughts all the time but sometimes not so much in the "sharing publicly" and posting kind of way.

My passion is empowerment and women's rights on all accounts. My common-law husband makes cracks (not in a mean-spirited way) about my feminism and for years I shied away from being called a feminist. I didn't feel that I was doing some "all women - girl power" extreme and didn't want to antagonize any men that I have a great friendship and collaboration with but when I explore the definition of the word it is about empowerment and women's strength. In that, there's no shame. Women exude strength and have to endure so much responsibility. Don't get me wrong as there are fabulous men out there who can be great partners and share this responsibility but in the end, you know it's the women that are the one's to wear all the hats: mother, nurse, taxi driver, cook, cleaner, teacher, wife, employee, business owner, and the list goes on. If a single mother and no support, that list just grows.

My questions are: balance - how do we find it? When do we crack? When do we havetime to crack? I guess this is up to the individual and truly is a time management thing. It is important to take time out of our day, even if for just two minutes to exhale and have a drink of your favourite beverage. So if you have to fight for that time, so-be-it!

Okay, I got off topic a little. The above kind of ties in but not the bulk of what carries my thoughts today. Am I fighter? In most cases, I pride myself on being that and would like to say yes. However, I have a confession. I have not lived up to my responsibilities or privileges. I am reminded by the video below just how much other women before me had to FIGHT for the right for equality to be called and regarded as a "person". They had to fight for the right to vote so that it would allow me the opportunities today to have a voice. If you can, minimize the video and listen to it as you carry on with other work. It's a really great listen.

How have I failed? I don't vote. I remember the excitement I felt at turning 18 and the right to vote. For years I faithfully did my duty only to see the politicians that were voted into office totally turn their backs on any campaign promises and what seemed to be self-fulfilling. I realize it's not possible to please every single person in the Municipality, Province or Country. (I'm sure that I will face criticism for my post but this is my personal opinion in which I am totally entitled to. I'm sure others may agree even when others may not.)

How do you choose? What do you do when you've lost faith in the people that don't do what they say they're going to do? People are people and there's human error or miscommunication. What if you know the person on a personal level and just can't get past their history or people they're associated with? There's some sort of lack of trust and you question what people's motivations are. Are they good intentioned and well-meaning? Do you befriend them anyway because "it's the political thing" to do and may need to call in "favours"? That's pretty shallow isn't it but also how the world runs right? Not what you know but who you know right? Why can we not change that? Do we just have to keep accepting it and shrug our shoulders in defeat that "that's just the way things are done"? Isn't your name your reputation? What do you want to put your name to? I'm glad I'm not American in the fact that I have to "register" and be a loyal and faithful Democrat or Republican. To be loyal to that no matter who the person is? At least we have a choice here in Canada in voting Liberal, Progressive Conservative, etc. (Ok, I don't exactly recall how US Politics works and would never profess to but I've seen many friends wear their Political stance and pride on their shoulders which has caused many an argument at parties if politics is discussed).

Sure, in some cases it's not the political person's fault when they have to have other members vote and agree but if the general population does not agree, why are "we, the people" not heard? Prime example? Look at the implementation of the HST and other things. Politics, in my opinion, is basically about who's the most popular and do people truly have our best interests at heart? I had the opportunity of working in Government and you had to shake so many hands, keep a smile on your face and be fake. I just couldn't do it. I wear my heart on my sleeve and though I'm not Simon Cowell, I have no problem expressing how I feel. (This is also another reason why sometimes I need to type and keep drafts instead of uploading the blogs right away..LOL).

So, the video below reminds me to be grateful. Women before us fought really hard. Should I still vote knowing how I feel? I don't want these women's actions to be in vain and know I need to be a fighter in all aspects of life. Other Countries are at war to have this right and fight to even have the opportunity or be heard!

I honestly don't know. This is a struggle that I will have to overcome but appreciate your comments and insight.

Thanks for viewing! As always, have a great day and remember to "Empower yourself and inspire change in others"

Question of Loyalty?

Question of Loyalty?

Good morning folks!

As I'm sitting here drinking my coffee, going over and replying to emails and returning calls I'm reflecting on what I can write on my blog today. If I were to write on my daily thoughts then this blog would be an hourly thing and not daily!

I was thinking to myself "what do I want today's thought to be"? Then it occurred to me as I wrapped up a phone call and read multiple emails from various mortgage brokers that send me newsletters and rate info so I'll be in their network of referrals, which one of these mortgage brokers would I use and be loyal to?

Loyalty: the state or quality of being loyal; faithfulness to commitments or obligations. 

Big word huh? "Failthfulness to commitments or obligations". Ok, we do that in our every day life, jobs, children, schedule, life. "Faithfulness", what about our partners in life? Ourselves? "Faith in ourselves" you're asking. Yes, ourselves. How many times have you said "I can't do that". You've lost faith in yourself and your desire to implement change, breaking old habits.
To our partners, there's so much deception and high divorce rates that it's almost become "acceptable". Everything takes work and unless it's abuse, why not try to work things out instead of being loyal and committed?

Business loyalty. Do commission-driven, career driven people lose their loyalty to colleagues and customers for the sake of getting ahead and making more money? Is that ok? In my opinion, no as it's unethical but you know it happens. The adage is "business is business" so apparently that's perfectly acceptable. Sure, that may happen one time but would you refer or ever use their business or that person again?

So it's a matter of perception and what I tell my children is that you get out of life what you put into it. I was told a long time ago by a very tough female american executive "Shannon, it doesn't matter what your intention is but what the perception of what people have about you". Well though people are going to conjur up whatever perceptions they have of you, you still have to be true to yourself. At the end of the day, you have to live with yourself and look in the mirror. It is just not possible to be everything to everyone and make them happy. It's just not. We're all made up differently with varying opinions so what one person may love about me, another person can absolutely detest.

So, loyalty. I'm loyal to myself and working in the utmost ethics I can. I'm loyal to my clients and customers because it's not just about the deal. My clients can attest to how I work. I'm loyal to my children and my life partner because I made that committment and strong in that character. When you make that firm committment, it makes life less stressful (at least I think) because there's no grey area. It's either wrong or right and no one has to backpaddle. If you know where your loyalties stand, and stand firm, no one can dispute that and then can hopefully say "wow, what an admirable trait". If someone doesn't understand, they're meant to be kept at arm's length because that's not the kind of person you'd want to be associated with or put your name to.

So for those mortgage brokers out there that just grab my email and send me stuff for the sake of creating their database, thanks for taking the initiative. In the end, I forward clients to Mortgage Consultants with whom I have a relationship with because my name is attached to them and I know how they work. It's about getting the best customer service and attention they deserve. It's not about me being #1, it's the clients.


Thanks for viewing! As always, have a great day and remember to "Empower yourself and inspire change in others"