Final Post 2010

As I've been agonizing what my final post for 2010 would be (why, I have no clue why it would be "stressful" but did want my final thought to be "perfect"). There's no such thing as a "perfect" blog post as one is noting his/her own thoughts so unless posting something offensive, really there are no mistakes. However, I should warn you that this is not my usually light-hearted, positive post and going to be extremely blunt and to the point. One may call it an intervention if you will. The "why" is that it's time to implement change and going to be very direct and time for self exploration.

By now, everyone is posting well wishes and happiness. I want to repeat that I usually post about being positive, inspirational and being motivated. The repeated warning is that the intent is not to offend or for anyone to think "who the heck does she think she is". The words expressed here apply to all of us. For a moment, let's think about the glass being "half full" instead of looking at the glass "half empty".

Are you saying "thank God 2010" is over? Why? Weren't you just twelve months ago saying "thank God 2009" is over and 2010 is going to be an amazing year? Why? Let's analyze that for a second. Doesn't every year bring opportunity for renewal and growth? What is it about the fireworks at midnight the 31st of December that makes a person think "next year is going to be better?".

In the words of my eldest son when I was facing a personal milestone: "what's different about today than yesterday...you're still you". Very profound for a fourteen year old don't you think? A great way of putting things into perspective and allowed me to think he's right and it IS about mindset. It's about the choices I make, what I think, what I do...not about the actual calendar or time...it's how that time is spent.

In writing this blog, I'm also reminded of one of my best friends that actually did have "awful year" (because of deaths of people very close to him). Annually, he sends a letter to friends and family. In his newsletter he said he had considered giving it up. However, he dug deep and as much as his year didn't end the greatest, he was able to recollect other events throughout the year that were positive. It was a very eloquent letter and probably one of the best he's ever written. Gratitude shone through and showed that despite crises him and his family had endured, there were still positive things that made life worth living. As a friend, very grateful he was able to do it. This was a breakthrough for him and a very admirable quality in a person. No one said doing this would ever easy but with perseverance there's gratitude.

So, what's your "a-ha" moment? We all have to learn our "why". Underlying we all have a purpose, personal motivator and a why. Why do we wake up every morning and do the same mundane things? Are we happy? I mean are we truly happy or just putting on a brave face? Instead of looking at yourself five, ten years or so from now...where do you see yourself to be next year, at midnight on the 31st of December? If you see yourself repeating "Thank God 2011 is over" then really, things really need to change NOW and old habits need to be broken.

We all deserve every happiness afforded to us and the only people capable of truly offering this to ourselves....is within ourselves. When we look in the mirror, we all must love the reflection looking back because as we have self-love and have gratitude, only then can we truly shine and pass this onto others. Love yourself first. This is not being an egomaniac. Self-appreciation, exude confidence will radiate from you and you'll automatically attract positive people. People will notice the difference in you. Some may judge and criticize but why let them take that power and your happiness away that you're entitled to? It's your power to have.

I will finish the last post of 2010 on this note: my desire for you, if this post has touched you in any way, that you'll say the following words instead, on the 31st of December at midnight:
"What an amazing 2011 and can't wait for 2012 to be another amazingly great year".

Measurement of Success

Success...... what is your definition? Everyone's measurement of success is different whether it's how well children advance at school, financial success, material things, social "status", etc. What defines you?

Sometimes in relationships and friendships people come to crossroads. What one person may perceive is success may not necessarily be agreed on by other people. What do you do?

In learning motivational skills and to obtain success, people are taught to do "vision boards". If you have not done one, you really should. It's amazing how, when you're sitting down to analyze your "wants" it helps you get a clear perspective of your vision. It allows you to keep on track and even when you're away from it, can visualize your board. Now this vision board is a personal thing and one really should keep it private.

In going back to my second paragraph, what if another party sees your vision board? In remembering it's very personal to you, people won't agree with your vision or what they see because they have different visions themselves. What if, in the interim, that party sees something is "missing" and they're very close to you? Is it ok to be offended? Should that person make a comment or just be respectful and keep silent?

A lesson learned along time ago was that it's not about "intention" but realistically in our society, it's all about "perception". I've asked this question to a few people...."what would they do if they saw a vision board and they weren't part of it?". One response was "vision boards are something the person doesn't have and are visualizing things that are missing from their lives....whether material or otherwise.. They're not going to post something they already have." Great comment and suppose it could be summed up that way. However, I don't agree because that's not how I did mine. Again, different perspectives, different opinions. (At the end of this blog, I'm happy to share a bit of insight into my vision board.)

However, out of respect for friends and loved ones, perhaps best to keep the visual board private. It is so easy for people to be offended and also, people can be naysayers and/or try to alter you from your focus. This is the opposite of achieving your goals. You don't want this to happen and sometimes people need to realize that things aren't necessarily all about them. Even people with good intentions can "slip up" and harbour bad feelings and perhaps unintentionally say or do things that are hurtful. It comes with being a human being.

So a measurement of success, in my opinion, should really be about balance: family first, business, financial wealth, philanthropy, good health and friends. Material things are great to have and enjoy but remember; can't take them with us when it's our time to go and they're not what define us.

When it is my time to go, I'd rather be surrounded by great friends and family to say "what a great person she was, what a thoughtful person and great Realtor she was; what a charitable person she was and did so much for the community"....not what the size of my bank account was or "wow, she had a great BMW".

Happy to share a bit about my vision board....it has things I already have but because I want it to continue....it has a lot of happy, smiling people reflecting myself, family, friends, business associates that are in my circle and interact with me all the time. Only positive people with a great outlook. Why? This is the energy that drives me, fuels me and everything else I have on my vision board will come true and happen. I can close my eyes and visualize my own personal successes that I want to achieve and how I will reward myself each time. At the end of the day though, if I don't have my family there with me to share it with? Nothing I ever do would mean a thing. This is where the balance and perspective comes in.

Thanks for viewing! As always, have a great day and remember to "Empower yourself and inspire change in others"

Dec. 6 – Canada's National Day of Remembrance & Action on Violence Against Women

Dec. 6 – Canada's National Day of Remembrance & Action on Violence Against Women

December 6 is the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence against Women. On this day we remember and mourn the loss of 14 women, murdered at Montréal's École Polytechnique, murdered because they were women. Please check your local areas for events.

More than 20 years after the tragic events in Montreal, violence against women continues to be a serious issue in Canada.

On Dec. 6, 1989, a deranged gunman entered L’Ecole Polytechnique in Montreal. He segregated the female students from the male students and began firing at the female engineering students.

On that day, 14 young women lost their lives to violence. The event has become known as the Montreal Massacre and is symbolic of the fight to end violence against women. In 1991, Canada’s Parliament declared December 6th a National Day of Mourning and the National Day to End Violence Against Women.

The facts:

Violence against women continues to be a serious issue in Canada:
•It is estimated that 60% of Canadian women have suffered from physical or psychological violence at some time in their life.


•In 2007, nearly 40,200 incidents of spousal violence were reported to police. This represents about 12% of all police-reported violent crime in Canada.


•Between April 1, 2007 and March 31, 2008, approximately 101,000 women and children were admitted to 569 shelters in Canada.

We remember the 14 lives lost. And there are other numbers to remember:

•Every minute of every day, a woman or child is being sexually assaulted in Canada•Homicide is the Number 1 killer of women in the workplace


•Homicide of women by firearm has shrunk since gun control - from 144 in 1989 to 33 in 2006


•582 missing and murdered Aboriginal women (and counting)


•Women with disabilities are 1.5 to 10 times as likely to be abused as non-disabled women, depending on whether they live in the community or in institutions.


•Each week, 1 to 2 women are murdered by a current or former partner


•Up to 360,000 children in Canada are exposed to domestic violence every year


•Physical and sexual abuse costs Canada over $4 billion each year


We make a difference when we speak out against bullying, harassment and discrimination of any kind.

We make a difference when unions raise the issue of violence at the bargaining table, or advocate for effective workplace violence legislation.

We make a difference when we raise strong, compassionate children.

We make a difference when we fight for women's equality and economic security.



Here are 14 actions you can take to help end violence against women:


1.Learn to recognize the signs of violence.


2.Don’t remain silent. If you suspect that a woman close to you is being abused or has been sexually assaulted, gently ask if you can help.


3.Speak out against harassment, bullying and violence in your workplace.


4.Get training in violence prevention.


5.Be an ally to women and organizations who are working to end all forms of gender violence.


If happening in the workplace and Unionized, work with your union to:


1.Make sure your employer keeps information on shelters and supports for women experiencing violence readily available.


2.Negotiate a workplace violence prevention program which includes psychological harassment into your collective agreement.


3.Review your workplace violence program every December 6th.


4.If you live in a jurisdiction with Workplace Violence legislation, make sure your employer is in compliance. If you don't, advocate for legislation requiring employers to develop policies and programs to help prevent workplace violence and harassment, as well as take precautions to protect workers from domestic violence in the workplace.


Have the courage to look inward and work to:


1.Question your own attitudes and actions and work towards changing them.


2.Recognize and speak out against racism, homophobia and other forms of discrimination.


3.Raise non-violent children. Help them find non-violent ways of resolving conflict. Lead by example.


4.Help the girls in your life develop confidence and strong self-esteem.

5.Encourage people who commit violence to seek counselling and support.

 

Thanks for viewing! As always, have a great day and remember to "Empower yourself and inspire change in others"