If you know anything about me, my history and have been following my blogs…I’m about ethics and moral character. Not moral character where I judge people, this is wrong. I’m not perfect and just because I choose to live my life one way or believe there’s something in the Universe that watches over us to protect us does not mean it’s right but what works for me. And also, I believe, “judge not, lest you be judged” because I totally believe in Karma and what goes around -comes around so if you put bad stuff out there, it will come back to you in tri-fold. Put good stuff out there and it will come back to you in greatness.
Enough of the history. Apparently as humans we must forgive and move on. One, because of the many negative emotions and physiologically things it does to our bodies. If we’re forever holding onto a grudge then we’re also holding onto the past. Meanwhile, the person that you’re holding this grudge on has probably not given it another thought and their lives have moved on…so why should we stay back and dwell on it? Because that’s what we tend to do.
Are you a believer that everything happens for a reason? If not, perhaps you should. Let’s draw on my personal experience of being in the hotseat.
Whatever happened that day, I still not know what I did or said to that person to make them conjure up the lie they told and presented to the friend I was defending myself to. Looking back, any “friend” that calls you one, should truly know you and what kind of character you are. Anyway, the events that day left me stunned, hurt and affected not only me and changing my course and direction in life, but my family. You know that mama cubs are protectors so it was with that anger that actually moved in because that person’s lie went well above me at that point. I digress. It’s been about 4 years and someone from that inner circle has moved back in my life. I received an email and though I thought I had moved on all those feelings rushed back at me like the event was yesterday. So do we truly “forgive and forget”? Honestly, no we don’t so let’s be honest with ourselves. However, we do have choices and this is what I have learned:
the physiological effects of that negativity from someone else does not affect me anymore
I’m actually GRATEFUL!! Yes, that’s right, you read correctly. I’m truly, 100% grateful. Like I said before “everything happens for a reason” and though I could not see it through the feelings of devastation at the time I did what was necessary. Brushed myself off, took direction and what was necessary to take care of my family and moved on. What I THOUGHT was supposed to be my direction was actually hurting and limiting me and now my wings have spread even wider in a total 180 direction I never thought possible. New opportunities have presented themselves almost every day….some even beyond my wildest imagination.
guess what…I WIN! That’s right. After all these years I didn’t begrudge so whatever little satisfaction you had in giving your performance and lie was a waste. I’ve seen photos around with your smile and I believe that you get to carry your dishonesty around with you. Guess what? When I look in the mirror, the peace is a luxury knowing I truly stand with moral character…no fakeness behind my smiles
Ok, this post was long overdue. Probably one of the most personal but had to put it out there. When you’re in a City, it still doesn’t seem that big because of all the inner circles and bound to run into that person which I finally did. I did not put my head down or scowl. In fact, I did nothing but hold my head high and listen in silence as I waited my turn in line at the cashier. I could feel her nervousness and awkwardness and always wondered how I would react when I saw her again. Nothing.
I feel peace and contentment. Have I forgiven and forgotten? Obviously one can’t really forget about life altering events in life but I’m not dwelling on it. It actually was character-building, has opened my eyes to the true friends and network I allow in my inner circle and altered my life course and work in another direction that is actually better. As far as forgiveness, I actually feel sorry and empathy….how’s that for a change of events? Not sorry in the “apologetic sense” but how sad that there’s this deep down core of unsettling as a direct result of her actions. It was evident by the physiological signs she displayed when she saw me. So the forgiveness part is within herself and something she’ll have to deal with.
The Spirit or “inner voice” is always whispering something in our ears. What does yours tell you? If you have any unsettlement in your life, deal with it so you too can close the door on any negativity and be able to move on and embrace the great things that are destined for you to have. So that is my rant for the day and hopefully, this chapter can now come to a close. So people I have not seen since that day and happen to run into me again…don’t have to apologize or feel awkward because they’re friends and please don’t keep trying to suck me back into the past. It’s happened. It’s over. Newsflash, it’s been about 4 years and I’ve moved on. I’m ok and didn’t go sulk in the corner and this person didn’t have the power to influence my life into devastation.
Anyone reading this, I hope that whatever situation you have experienced in your life….you shift the power back to you. Don’t let the feeling of devastation hold you back and do your best to claw your way back up, eyes wide open and don’t let yourself be stabbed in the back again. That’s character-building and you’ll be stronger and more capable of handling any other mud slinging that may come your way! I promise you that! So, let’s be Wonder Women together and deflect all that negativity and bring contentment into our lives which is what we truly deserve and much more ful-filling anyway!
Wish you all the best in health, wealth and happiness always.
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